Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hache, Jan 17, 2011.

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  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    The girl I became infatuated with, opened my heart to, we were getting close, almost about to start seeing each other properly, she went home with her fuck buddy tonight, I've self harmed already for the first time in about a year, I cant sleep, anxiety, when I close my eyes I see them and it throws my body into a panicky fit
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Sometimes people go for meaningless relationships because they are scared to be in real relationships

    do you know for sure that she is with this other person? maybe she wants to make you jealous for some reason?

    maybe it would help if you talk to her and tell her that you wanted to be with her, and that it hurt you that she went with this other person

    honestly though, sometimes it's a blessing in disguise when you don't get together with someone. she might have been a terrible girlfriend, but there is a tendency to idealize someone when you consider them as a prospect.

    maybe now you will be free to find someone better for you, someone who can love you back
  3. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I know for sure she went with him, 100%.

    I've had a little bit sleep, but now I cant get back to sleep, everytime I close my eyes I see them and have a panic attack.

    I've been depressed on and off for so long that this has made me feel defeated more than anything. I cant explain it, maybe it has to do with the fact that for a week before this even started I felt numb and defeated, I lost all emotions and felt like the end was approaching.

    Oh well I learnt 2 valuable lessons, never open up to anyone and never listen to your heart over your head.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You also learn you can love
    there is another person out there who will return that love
    if one does not try how will you know
    the next one that comes by
    will be the one
    everyone goes through relationship breakups and in a way it is good because that one was just not for you the next one may even be better:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  5. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    This sucks.
    Probably not the most 'mature' advice, but there's a song by Adam Sandler called love stinks from the movie the wedding singer. it's a satire but there's expression in his voice damnit.
    please try it.
    I suggest listening to some really pissed off music. Not directed towards yourself, or her even. just at the fact human relationships are effing complex and i salute you for trying them.
    get angry, again not at yourself or her, and express it outwardly. break things if available; it helps. I'm not condoning violence towards people or animals btw.

    on a more mature and calm note, this does not mean you did anythign wrong by opening up. it's not a reflection on you. unless she explicitly has told you to go away, it's not rejection really... She's probably just as muddled up as you are.
  6. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member


    I've had some more sleep. I think I am going to fall back into depression now. Not because I want her, just because what this triggers in my whole life. I need a victory.

    I had a horrible anxiety attack that made me feel like I had something inside me, like I was possessed, it was horrible.

    Oh and if I was good enough she would have picked me, this is the 2nd time in a year something like this has happened. Last time I got close the girl says no to a relationship, then I found out the other day that a couple of months later she got a bf, wtf.

    On reflection of things, things said and done, I am not a man, certainly not compared to the guy she went with.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2011
  7. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you will find a victory eventually
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I think it would be ok to call her up or talk to her and tell her how much she hurt you, how you feel betrayed. Maybe that would make you feel better

    I don't think the lesson is never open up to someone. It's good to realize that not everyone is going to respond well if you open up to them, not everyone is trustworthy. If you don't want to get hurt, it's better to pick the people that you open up to more carefully, and maybe open up to them a little at a time to see how they react.

    If you have a lot of negative feelings and experiences, I think that a lot of people don't have the maturity and compassion to deal with that.

    Even though she got together with some other guy, does that mean that she doesn't want to talk to you? Or that you don't want to talk to her?

    I think that you can listen to both your heart and your head. sometimes one will speak up more than the other

    I don't think that you have to call into question your manhood or degrade yourself.

    Maybe you can find someone who loves you just the way you are, and that person is probably the best one for you
  9. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    We spoke online. I told her how I felt, she doesnt know if she wants a relationship, something about broken heart too many times and never having been single, always in relationships, but she doesnt know.

    I told her how much it hurts to wait and how I couldn't be dragged a long in hope when there is a chance of rejection, how much my head is getting messed up not knowing.

    I guess ball is in her court over the next couple od days.

    Anyway I have another question, it is about anxiety attacks, I cant find anything online that suggests that is what I am having, errr, I will be thinking about something triggering and my whole body will spasm like crazy, like I am possessed, what is this?
  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    idk, have you seen a doctor?
  11. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    sounds like alot of panic.
  12. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    no doctor.

    I've been out tonight, was really good with some friends I love being with when drunk.

    I feel great. I wish I never self harmed now, I put some plasters on so no one would know. End of night had a bit of an arguement with said girl, but I saw some really pretty ladies that I dont mind :) I feel free, I am great.
  13. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

  14. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Must be panic attacks although I still dont see there anything about the body going into complete spasm.
  15. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    hot women make me feel better until i realize im cold, lol
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