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Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by xXxRNBxXx, Jan 22, 2011.

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  1. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    How on earth am i going to get through this... how on earth do i stay strong for him... hes been here with me for 5 whole weeks and its been amazing.. i want to be with him forever and get married and have children with him. but the 5 weeks are over and i had to say goodbye this morning at the airport... 8 weeks until i get to see him again and even then its only for a week. then when i get home its another 8-10 weeks until he comes back here again. I just want to be with him properly why do he gouvournment make things so hard. I cant handke this. hes been gone 9 hours and im torn apart im shattered into a million pieces ive been in bed all day crying and ignoring my phone when my parents have rang. i dont want to see anyone or do anything i just want brandon back here or me there its whats meant to be. im trying to hold on ... but its so hard and its not even been a day yet. this is so hard its killing me. the voices are telling me to go jump to end the pain... i need support... please help me stay strong for him... please im beggin
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    R no a, this will be the test.
    To love yourself and him from afar, you wont believe it but it will pass so quickly, but you must keep busy.
    Keep sight of your goal, keep busy with your little one.
    Hold your own heart with lots of love, stay strong for yourself and others.
    You have so much love to give and need the return, i understand that, so much.
    Find strength from those who offer you a hand, i send mine and my ears and heart, both open to you.
    Come and find me, on here or skype.
    Peace and tons of hugs.
    Try to remember that by it being so hard, so difficult, the rewards will be endless, they really will.
    When things are too easy, they lack depth.
    Pete x
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Try to hold on to the memories you have made while he was with you.
    Make a book of pictures of the time you spend together and look at them as it will help you until you see him again.
    This will not be forever this way it will get better and you know he will return.
    Hugs to you okay keep posting okay talking to yur friends here it will go quickly
  4. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    I know everything you all say is right... but it's so hard.
    Hes been here ... we were living together for 5 whole week. me brandon and ally as a family. Watching the way my family accept him and love him to bits like me. Ally even said afew times whilst sat cuddling brandon on couch when I was in the kitchen... "I wish you were my daddy" everything was so right and perfect. now I feel its all been taken taken away from me... why cant things be easier for once in my life everything is so hard. Watching him walk away from me in the airport... it crushed my heart. Im nothing without brandon... im nothing. I love you so much brandon we can do this cant we? xx
  5. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    Hurts so bad :(
  6. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    If you dont get through it Rachel then your not going to see him again, so realistically whats worse? You not seeing him for like eight weeks or you not seeing him ever again. You managed before he visited, even before the one night he got to spend over here, and i'm sure you'll find it in you to manage again. Yeah things are tough, but no matter what anyone says we aint gonna be able to make it any easier. Sitting in bed in pieces isn't going to make Brandon feel any better about him having to go home and isn't going to make you feel any better.

    Remember when immigration pulled him over? and he had to go home after just one night? You struggled then, but you managed to get through and before long he had his tickets booked. Realistically eight weeks isn't that long sweetie and seeing him for a week is better than waiting 16-18 weeks to see him. Isolating yourself from family during this tough period of being apart wont do you any good.

    If you let this get to you too much, then you'll end up being sectioned again and then theres the possibility you wont be making it to see him in 8 weeks time which will just tear you apart furthur.

    In time you'll get used to not having him around for a little while - You have no other choice. Him being able to live over here permanently is going to be a slow process so in the meantime you shall just have to treasure the moments you have with him.

    You might not feel it right now but you are lucky - Love managed to spark over being suicidal/ having mental health difficulties, thats more than a lot of us can say. You feel lonely, but in reality you have a family beside you who WANT to help, and you have a loving boyfriend no matter how far away he lives - Yes you are torn hundreds of miles apart but thats better than having no one. Besides its not like your not going to have ANY contact with Brandon, theres still phonecalls, msn, fb, sf, skype and all the other countless opportunities to contact people via the internet.

    So to sum this all up in short points
    - Be happy that you have a family and a boyfriend that care for you.
    - Realise that this wont be forever.
    - If you let it destroy you it'll only delay you meeting again.
    - Feel lucky that you managed to find true love let alone on a place like this.
    - Dont let distance get the better of you
    - There are many means of contact rather than face to face.

    “And so it comes just as it is, a day no longer here. And through my trembling fingertips, the memories of the year I try not to wave farewell to all our dreams, I will forget you never, I wonder if the crazy times will stay with you forever? But as I cry in pain of losing you, my dear and such good friend, I will not close the book and say farewell, this is the end For goodbyes create swift hellos, and days from now you’ll see, That though it hurts to say goodbye, your friend I’ll always be.”
  7. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Rachael, i couldn't have said it better then the others.

    Just know i am thinking of you and i'm here for you.

    Love ya :hug:
  8. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    I know that I don't know you as well as the other guys on the forum, but I just wanted to give you :hug: .

    You have been given some really good advice. You can stay strong and we can help you do it. :hug:
  9. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    thank you so much everyone, todays a new day as they say. I dont feel 100% but I feel better. I talked to brandon on skype until like 6am this morning. I know the pain will ease within time. just hard to take in at the moment. xxx
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