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  1. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    ugh. feeling really rough. just want it all to stop. want to quit therapy, crawl in to bed and just stay here. forever. on monday i told my therapist about something that happened when i was a kid, something i did when i was 9, and even though she helped me understand why i did what i did i still feel really terrible. i won't go into the details partly cos it might be triggering for some, but mostly because i am ashamed. it's a terrible feeling. i really want to self harm and i've not cut for 2 months now. i could just scream. or cry. i don't know. it's all too much.
  2. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    No matter what you done as a child, a 9 year old. It wasn't your fault, you were a child. The past can't be changed. All we have it the present and the future. We must live in the present and provide for our future, by learning from our past. You have gone 2 months without harming yourself. Why mess that up now? Sometimes screaming works as a good release of stress. Crying works good too. I know I have spent many many days drowning in my own tears. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Also don't stop the therapy ok.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    My god if I pulled out all the skeletons in my past I'd be a gibbering idiot.
    We all do things we're not proud of, I've found trying to make recompense helps no end.
    Ok you can't go back and undo whats done but you can show kindness to someone, help someone out and balance the bad with some good. :hug:
  4. jaybirdssis

    jaybirdssis Member

    Don't beat yourself up about past mistakes. The path you have taken may have been rough at times but it is what makes you who you are - unique and wonderful in ways we don't usually see in ourselves because we're too busy focusing on our faults. Trust that the good is there and try to foster that and revel in the good feelings rather than drown in the bad.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i am just drowning in shame. drowning. monday's topic at therapy led to a much harder one on thursday. my therapist told me how brave i was for opening up to her. but i don't feel brave. i feel guilty, and ashamed. i'm never going to post about what we talked about but i know if you guys knew you'd def. change your opinions of me. i can't even talk to my best friends about this. damn, it took me over a year with a therapist i love and trust to open up.

    i guess i'm hanging on to the hope that she will fix this . and i haven't really given her a chance to fix it yet... we're just beginning.

    thanks for listening.
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