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as I'm writing this,I am still crying my heart out.

I was an honor student.a poster child.a sponsored student.I breeze through all my exams.I'm a Malaysian btw.

I used to study at Mo***h University in Australia.I took biotechnology there.

then I began to hate it.I see how my friend is so happy doing her course (English),so I quit and went back to Malaysia

that doesn't sit well with my father. Until now (it's been 2 months) he doesn't even want to speak to me.


I screwed up once and that's its?

no second chance or whatsoever.I cried myself to sleep most of the time. I lied of being happy back in Malaysia.

I don't know what to do.

I'm feeling suicidal,but still sane enough to write this.


somebody please say that it's going to be okay.PLEASE.


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Im not sure anyone can exactly say it is going to be ok per say, but they can help you find the strength to tell yourself it will be.

Can I ask what you do enjoy doing? With the perseverance you put into your studies before hand, I can't see you having much problem altering your educational direction, if that's what you want to do.

The best thing to do is talk about what you want I think, and how you feel about yourself. It'll help you open up and lay everything out instead of it all being clumped together as a huge weight or however it manifests.

As for your father... some people are really stuck in their old ways. They want their children to live a "preset" life. And in thinking and being this way, they forget that you are an individual living your own life.
Right now, I dont think he should be your primary concern, though I understand that feeling almost impossible to push aside. You have to worry about you and find what you want in life. Perhaps once you find it, he might be more inclined to speak to you, and explain his position which ultimatly is wrong and ignorant to who you are.
Though, im very sorry he is like this, for both of you. Though I feel sorry for him for a competley reasons. xx
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