Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by BelovedDreamer, Oct 29, 2006.

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  1. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    I am so full of thought
    And so full of fear
    And full of dread
    All I want is to make this stop.
    I don’t care
    if I have something worth giving to the world.
    Why should I have to give it?
    Why should I have to give anything more?
    Maybe it’s selfish
    Maybe it is
    And maybe
    I am tired of caring
    And rethinking
    And backing away from that damn ledge.
    Maybe I am tired of giving myself away in pieces.
    I want to keep what I have left
    And chose how I dispose of it.
    This idealistic fervor
    This sensitivity
    And if you could hear me
    I say them both as if they were dirty
    Because they feel dirty
    Dirty silly little words.
    These things have brought me pain
    And made me unfit for the solidity of whatever constitutes
    A normal life.
    Can’t I keep something for myself?
    It seems that even if I wanted to do this thing
    This living thing
    I don’t have the will left to save myself.
    Like this day
    I wish I could either make that final stroke
    Or run down the stairs
    Or pick up the phone
    And say to someone “Help”
    “I know I seem better but I’m not
    I just learned what not to say.”
    I wish someone would take this choice out of my hands
    I wish someone would knock on that door
    Hold back my arms
    Force a pill down my throat
    And drag me away.
    I am so tired of trying to function
    Trying to laugh like it’s a chore
    Trying not to think about the things
    I’m not supposed to think about.
    I guess I’m just wishing someone could take me
    Out of my own hands.
  2. Oh Gawd Girl - you make me weep. What and how you write is deep.
    I'm vulnerable each time I step into your world
    When I *recognize*, and understand your words...

  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    That's a good poem....It kind of reminds me of myself. It is kind of scarey reading that because of the similarities. Take care of yourself, hang in there, and I am here if you ever need to talk. :hug: :hug:

    ~In tears on the inside,
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    ...what FAL1 said, and more - I think it's sorrowfully gorgeous and so accurate.

    If you have something worth giving to the world - which I think you do - why not give it? YOu've got immense talent for putting feelings precisely into words - no small feat, that. Go ahead, give away, you've got so much worth giving. Please don't give up on yourself, please?:sad: I CARE ABOUT YOU!!:smile:

    love, your friend,

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