3 years ago I met the woman of my dreams, I took her for granted all the time and generally treated her like shit, at first, because she seemed to love me so much (doesn't make sense I know), We worked through it, had a lovely flat, I had a great job, She enjoyed hers, We never worried about money or anything and we were finally happy when I realised how much she means to me. I got made redundant Nov 2010 and have struggled to find a job in all that time, and we have struggled financially, were made homeless until a friend took us in 'least we have each other' were her words almost everyday. She left me last Wednesday, She saw emails from the very beginning of our relationship where I was saying to my Ex 'I think im still in love with you'. I am not after sympathy for any of this but it hurts so much that she has gone, I cant stand it, I want to die so I stop begging her for another chance and seeing her life moving on so fast. I really cant deal with this pain or life without her, I dont want to sleep because its lonely, I dont want to wake up because she isnt there, I havnt eaten in over a week, I cant stop crying or clawing at my self. I just want it all to end!