Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dani_girl, Jul 2, 2012.

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  1. dani_girl

    dani_girl New Member

    im writing here because im in a pretty bad place and i have nowhere else to turn at this moment. i am 7 1/2 months pregnant and that is the only reason i haven't killed myself but it is getting harder every day to stay alive. i am recently married and my husband is what i guess you would call abusive. i have known my husband my whole life and i married him because i cant seem to let go of the person he used to be. unfortunately this world has changed him and he is now so angry and unfortunately i have become his punching bag. he hasnt been physically abusive since we found out about the baby but he continues to yell and scream and be emotionally abusive. he is also sexually abusive. he has raped me twice in the past two days. of course every time he says that things are going to be better and that we arent going to fight anymore. last night he promised me we wouldn't argue anymore and then today i didnt give him oral sex as soon as he got home from work and he flipped out. he took my phone and my car and i have no where to go and no one to talk to. all i can think about is how much this is harming our child.. he can hear us, he can feel what i feel and i feel so guilty that he is being put through this right now but i dont know what to do. i dont have anywhere to go. my husband harassed me to the point that i quit my job and now have nothing. he has alienated me from all my friends and none of them even know whats going on. i dont want to live anymore. i wrote a suicide note to my son the other day and i plan on killing myself after he is born but im struggling to even hold out that long because im so scared of what will happen to him without me around. please help..
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Don't be punished because of someone else's mistakes. You have a child coming and children MUST have their parent. Why have you not contacted the authorities, a battered women's advocate, child protective services, or someone else that has the authority to get you free from this bad situation? Break yourself free from the abuse and start over. It may take a while to get back onto your feet, but you will not be alone... you will have your child. Don't wait, don't hesitate, contact the proper authorities and advocates NOW.
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry to hear your story of struggles... I think that the best thing for you to do, is to find a way to leave this man, some how--some way! I know there are a lot of reasons on why this may be hard, or impossible, but this is your life we're talking about here, as well as your son's, in terms of him growing up without his mother. Is there family or friends you can stay with temporarily while you sort all of this out? There are ways to put a stop to the unnecessary abuse: such as the police! In any case, my hope for you is to start to feel like your old self again, and not to take any of the shame for this situation. Because none of it is your fault. You just got an unlucky draw when it came to husbands. But as soon as you can put him in the past, the present and then future can improve for you. Good Luck-
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You must get away!

    There are shelters for women that you can go to, they will have heard it all and probably experienced it too, so don't feel ashamed about the situation.
    Family, if they are supportive, will surely be glad you've gotten away before harm to you or the baby was fatal or crippling.

    Whatever has changed this man is now not your concern, your concern must be for yourself and your child.
    He won't change, things will only escalate ...GET OUT NOW!

    I know you will be frightened for the future and facing being a single parent is never easy, but if I did it so can you!
    I raised 3 boys on my own and yes, there were times it was a struggle but I got there.

    Please please please get yourself to safety.
  5. Alex94

    Alex94 Member

    Although young and i can't possibly understand what you are going through, i agree with the other replies.
    I am unsure where you live but i know in Australia there are many shelters for people in your position to take refuge in.
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