im writing here because im in a pretty bad place and i have nowhere else to turn at this moment. i am 7 1/2 months pregnant and that is the only reason i haven't killed myself but it is getting harder every day to stay alive. i am recently married and my husband is what i guess you would call abusive. i have known my husband my whole life and i married him because i cant seem to let go of the person he used to be. unfortunately this world has changed him and he is now so angry and unfortunately i have become his punching bag. he hasnt been physically abusive since we found out about the baby but he continues to yell and scream and be emotionally abusive. he is also sexually abusive. he has raped me twice in the past two days. of course every time he says that things are going to be better and that we arent going to fight anymore. last night he promised me we wouldn't argue anymore and then today i didnt give him oral sex as soon as he got home from work and he flipped out. he took my phone and my car and i have no where to go and no one to talk to. all i can think about is how much this is harming our child.. he can hear us, he can feel what i feel and i feel so guilty that he is being put through this right now but i dont know what to do. i dont have anywhere to go. my husband harassed me to the point that i quit my job and now have nothing. he has alienated me from all my friends and none of them even know whats going on. i dont want to live anymore. i wrote a suicide note to my son the other day and i plan on killing myself after he is born but im struggling to even hold out that long because im so scared of what will happen to him without me around. please help..