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Helping my girlfriend, because she's too shy to get help on her own.

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Well-Known Member
Please help!

My girlfriend has been having issues with her parents lately. She says that her parents favor her little brother more, and this is usually what the firstborn says. However, she supported her reasons with the fact that her usually good grades are "expected" of her, whereas her little brother gets congratulations and rewards for his grades. Her most recent story is that she recently took a practice SAT test, and she got the results back and the answers. Her parents told her to correct the wrong answers before she talked to me. However, she couldn't find the SAT paper, and called her parents to let them know that. They said that they'd help her look for it when they got home, she said she'd finish her homework in the meantime. She finished her homework then called me. Her dad checked the phone records this morning, and he got upset knowing she called me, before they got home, and didn't work on the SAT questions which she told them that she couldn't find. And her parents have been on her tail about getting B's instead of A's recently, and it's making her more and more stressed. about 9 months ago, she told her parents that she was in a relationship with another girl, which is me. They were sort of accepting at first, but it appears to her that their discipline has gotten more and more harsh since, and she's gotten into more trouble because of me, such as being 2 or 3 minutes late and then not being able to call, text, or use her computer for a few days. She has tried talking to them, but she says that she either "fails at explaining" her feelings to them or they interrupt, saying something akin to "that's beside the point." She tries to talk to them about her being a lesbian, but she says that they never get to because they're either busy, change the topic, or don't want to talk. Also, her people accuse her of not listening and not caring about them, when they tease her in ways that make her feel like they don't care about her and she does everything that is asked of her, when she can, because she's having a hard time understanding physics and English in school right now and her parents are stressing her out about having B's in the classes. Does anyone have any advice I can give her so that maybe she'll have a good relationship with her parents?
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Well-Known Member
Never had a really good relation with my parents, if trying to talk doesn't work then i don't know. Maybe they're just too uncomfterable with the lesbian relationship. I'd say try to keep talking about it, making clear it's serious if it is and don't start yelling or being angry, that will only make things worse.

I think there will be other people on here that have similar problems, maybe they have some good advice.


Staff Alumni
It seems that her parents are intended to discipline her and not have the relationship she is seeking...also, coming out to one's parents is very difficult and I admire her for trying...maybe an online support for gay, lesbian and transgendered teenagers (e.g. http://www.thetrevorproject.org/) might help support her...she is so fortunate to have you...sometimes complying and knowing who ppl are is the best we can do...she cannot change them and they are the ones who are missing out...her best bet is to not internalize their 'perfectionism' and know that they are the ones that have the issues...best of luck, J
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