Helping others is REALLY hard

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pancake111, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I know people on this site are looking for help, but how do we help someone who we know who is going through the same pain as we are? One of my closest friends has depression, but she refuses to get help. She doesn't think she deserves help and that she doesn't want to burden her family with her problems. When she tells me how she feels, I see myself in her. And I know how deep these feelings can go.

    How do you convince someone that they need to get help, and that they're worth it. She's just soooo stubborn. Should I just let her come to the realization that she needs help herself, or should I keep trying to help her?
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    No idea, but if you find out keep it on the down low... ^_^ Do not want people making me get help.
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. I think thats a tough one. Because when someone mirrors our own issues and will not avail themselves of help, it can be really triggering. We can feel an augmented need for them to get help. Because we too have the same issue, if that makes sense. As difficult as it may be, the correct thing may be to plant the seeds of the idea. And then become the role model. Sort of going into the pool first. Letting the person see that you are healing. And what it looks like. Be that change you would like your friend to have. Often the more we encourage, push or try to persuede someone to do someting, the less likely they are to do it. Sometimes the best thing to do is show them love, do the healing yourself, and try to honor their timing. Sometimes there are lessons still to be learned from resistance. But I know its tough to let go of that role