I've struggled with severe depression since I was a young child. Suicide has always been something I've wanted and have tried multiple times. This year has been worse than the previous..and my story is truly a long one. This year: I lost my dream job. I was injured during a tryout at the biggest sports entertainment company on earth and ruined my chances after working so hard for it for so long. I got pregnant, lost the baby. Met who I thought was the love of my love and got my heart broken multiples times by him throughout the year (long lobg story) Lost my apartment and had to move back in with my mom. Overdosed again, ending up in the ER. I almost went into cardiac arrest. And to top it all off... My mom just passed away a few days before thanksgiving. She was my everything. I still live in her apartment with all of her stuff.. My grandfather pays the rent and will only pay a few more months, until I get rid of my moms stuff and pack everything...which is not easy.. I'm a mess. I honestly don't know how to handle life.