After 7 days i do have my exams.the most important exam of my life and i dont know how am i gonna perform.i cant damn fail this time.i do wanna paas but i need 65% to get into the navy and i know i may not get it coz i even doubt that i may get passed out or not.NO 1 can help me now Oh god am i not the blessed 1? Sometimz i feel...why the hell i m alive...for whom..coz after my exam its all over...if i dont get into navy..i dont know..i may end mah life..damn..i knw i cant do that..coz i want to do something in my life....but these devil feelings do come in my mind when i dont succeed..I feel i should copy in my examz and i dont mind getting debarred for 3 yrs..damn...or else do i have any other damn option...studying is like..i m very much tensed about thinking all these things and i cant concentrate...sometimes i think of leaving my house and should go somewhere...OH god i m so confused in my life.I m tired....toooo tired of my life..i dont have any friends...who stay near by my house...I alwayz needed a friend like me....i need some 1...i dnt have any 1 with me...i dnt have any true friend..i m unlucky in finding gud friends...coz there's no 1 to share mah feelings...only sum net friends thats it...I m sick of my life and after all this...if i dont get into navy i wanna be "DEAD"...coz damn..i dont have any other option...But i knw i cant kill myself....if i had the power to donate my life to some 1...i would have done that...but i cant waste my life....by ending it.I m just 19 and i do wanna make my life better....But now its like i cant live nor i can die..huh.It feels like why am i alive...so many people get killed in some way or the other...if i where that some 1,it would have been nice coz i am fed up and tired of my life.
You say you don't have any other options if you don't get into the navy. we always have options, it's may be that you are just not willing to consider anything else at this time. I encourage you to study for this exam, but if you really cannot do it, then sit down and start writing a list of things you could do instead. They may seem stupid or insignificant, but if they are an option, list them. See how long the list gets. It can be as simple as a convenience store clerk, fast food worker, CNA, anything you can think of. As I said before, thier are options besides the navy. Out of curiosity, where does this 65% on the exam to get in come from? My brother was horrible in math and still was in the navy. He had to take remedial math while enlisted, but poor math skills did not exempt him. i know rules change over the years, but I am curious. Take care. :hug:
