Here again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rainfall, Apr 20, 2013.

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  1. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    I thought I had it good again. I had meds, I had a perfect girlfriend of 1 and a half years, I was doing great at school, getting As and A*s all the time, I was getting friends, and, most of all, I was happy. Then it all just fell.

    First of all my friends all but disappeared. They just stopped talking to me and ignoring me. Then my gf talked to me less and less. I got so worried that my grades fell to Cs and Ds. Then she dumps me out of the blue three weeks ago, via an xbox live message! No emotion, nothing. I spent years talking to her and trying to solve her problems and suicidal feelings she had, and she just did that. Later that week I found out she had been cheating on me for a weeks behind my back. I just broke down at that news.

    So here I am, friendless, broken hearted, my fucked up brain's ruining what's left of my life, and now I'm not going to get into a decent university, if any at all. I've been holding on somewhat for the past three weeks, but a message from my ex telling me she doesn't regret cheating on me just sent me in tears. I just need some help.
  2. Mercedez

    Mercedez Banned Member

    Hunny * hugs* you can do this ignore her rude and hatefull ways ok ? we need you here <3
  3. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    No one really needs me, but thanks
  4. Percarus

    Percarus Account Closed

    One day when you get much older you will think to yourself in great pride of surviving such hard moments in life. Life can change in but a moment my friend. Many people lose their love, their friends, and even everything they have due to sheer bad luck. But all it takes is one fortunate encounter and maybe through them you will meet a whole instantaneous new group of friends and crew. In my High School for instance it was only the very privilged few in the minority that had girlfriends or boyfriends, but yet none of them even reached third base primarily because they were living with their parents. If you had love, cherished it, enjoyed it, and had a good time then what is there to lament about? You are still young and believe me I have witnessed 50 year old individuals go through a life of utter isolation but then to suddenly live such a hectic love life and prolific social ordeals that in just one year he made up for five lost years.

    If your girlfriend was cheating on you I understand that feels bad, you probably felt used and abused. The best revenge now is to succeed beyond her wildests imaginations and maybe years down the track, when you have that beautiful girlfriend, awesome friendship circle crew, education and job, maybe she will bump into you in a shopping mall and you can disclose to her your state in life. What you need is a game plan, some discipline, and some sort of creative hobby that will release all your anger and frustration thus calming you down. If you need guidance maybe seek a mentor, maybe not necessarily your parents, but someone at least. I hope it works out for you. :')
  5. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the advice, just wish I had the grades to succeed in life
  6. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    You're ex sounds like a horrible person. Considering she was the one that needed help with what she was feeling, she should have known what it feels like to be hurt and lost.

    Please don't despair. Your grades may have suffered, but there's still time, right? You know what you are capable of. Try and get back to that. University can be a new start, a chance to put all the hurt behind you. I know it doesn't go away, but don't let what she did ruin what you could have in your future.

    Do you have any idea what happened to make your friends stop talking to you?
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow...I'm so sorry this happened to you...sorry if I'm out of line but what a B** could she do that and hurt you like that after you've helped her..I'm really sorry. Don't let her bring you down though, keep fighting... maybe go out and around, get involved in something you like that involves other people and you can make friends?
  8. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    Thank you both, means a lot ^^.

    I've tried going out and making friends to no avail, and I don't know why my friends just sort of faded away. Maybe they just got bored of me or something
  9. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    You don't need grades to succed in life, you need you, determation and self belief all those things have been knocked by events and I'm sorry that has happened. You will I hope find love and hopefully something you love doing. You will have the chance of doing this if you keep trying, as hard as that seems if you give up now you won't have those things. You have to be gentle with yourself work on what you need. Then you'll slowly find things meet new people, hey maybe fall in love again who knows you just have to give yourself a chance to have those things

    Anyhow I'll stop rambling

    Take care

  10. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    Thx a lot Rich ^^
  11. Mcmanus

    Mcmanus Active Member

    Hi Rainfall,
    Sorry you are in a dark place. Perhaps you don't need good grades and just need you. However, good grades lead to a better education as you already know. A good education will provide you with more choices and opportunities in life. Those choices and opportunities provide you with a greater level of freedom. And that, in turn, will lift your mind and spirit even if it doesn't feel like that all the time. Your distraction is right in front of you. Dive into your studies with a tenacious voracity to take your mind off aspects of your life which are now temporarily unacceptable.
    Going to university will give you the opportunity to meet new people. Relationships change throughout life. People come in and out of our lives. I only have 2 friendships that have lasted 30 years. Relationships are always give and take. In some we give in others we take. Few, in retrospect, are ever equal or just.
    As for your girlfriend, she took. You will get that back, for lack of a better phrase, from someone else in the future. That's just how things work for good or bad.
    My favorite saying is "no good deed ever went unpunished". I've given and lost many times. Lost many friends during 35+ years of depression. In other relationships I've been the taker. Again not necessarily fair but that's how it is.
    Fight! Fight for you! My advice is not to talk about depression or suicide to friends because that is a sure way to lose them in my experience. Talk to us or a trained professional.
    You have power and choice even if it does not feel like it right now.
    Use it. Fight for you! Not against people but against your demons.
    Good luck.
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