its been a long a time since i have been here i had made some changes in my life and i tried to be optimistic about things. but it was all in vain because it has not once stoped these feelings of sucide and lonlieness everyday i think about killing myself i have plenty of friends but i still feel as though i am alone. i try and look at my future and all i see is nothing. i want to die so badly and everyday when i hear about people dying i cant help but to think what lucky bastards they are. everything in my life is shit and i cant trust anyone. i just want to die so i cant stop thinking so i can stop feeling i hate being alive so much.