Here for a friend, please, urgent

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Two of Spades, Mar 29, 2008.

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  1. Two of Spades

    Two of Spades New Member

    I don't know if this is the right place. I don't even know how long I have, but I messed up bad. Because of me, a friend is feeling like she's going to kill herself. She said I have one hour to say what I want to say to her, and I've been trying to talk her out of suicide for months. She had been convinced, but I messed up and said something I shouldn't have. She's got Gender Identity Disorder and was born with a guy's body, and she feels completely isolated socially for it. I made it worse and now I'm so scared I'm going to lose her. She's been planning this for a long time. I don't know what to do or say; I've said everything I can think of and she's not hearing me. Please help.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2008
  2. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    When a person is in a suicidal state it is very difficult to say the 'right' thing no matter how hard you try, this is not because you can't say it but rather because they can't or won't hear it.
    You have been helping your friend for months, you are doing your best for her.
    So you have said something you feel was wrong, we all do, she will not chose to die because of one mistake by you.
    I'm sure you have tried to apologize and make things right, maybe she needs a little time now to realise that you care for and are there for her but not responsible for her actions..
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Did you read the stuff on the link above?

    Your friend needs professional help. You cannot talk someone out of feeling suicidal, despite what your friend says, because once you feel this way you are pretty deep into a depression where you see no other options.

    Tell her that you love her, that you care, that you would miss her. Do not leave her alone if she is in a crisis, make sure you or someone close who KNOWS that she is actively suicidal is by her side. Tell her that she needs some help and must get it immediately. Don't let her talk you out of it. If she has shared her feelings then there is some small part of her that wants help. Her options are a suicide helpline, a doctor or therapist, or the ER. A therapist can take a while to arrange, but the helpline and ER are available immediately.

    Don't try and handle this alone - you need support as well. You can only do your best, and even if you said "the wrong thing" you were only doing your best and even if she attempts, you have to forgive yourself.

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