here for answers but there isnt any

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vicki, Aug 13, 2010.

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  1. vicki

    vicki New Member

    i was quite hopeful when i found this site. so many seem to be just stupid or lack the proper information. i do understand why you dont put an a.b.c of exactly how to do it for fear it may encourage people but for people who have made their mind up and really want to go to be left just guessing and wondering if it will work and how much of what to take (if you are planning on pills like me) is just horrible. i know everyone is different and some may need more than others but i have a right concoction here and i am afraid i will throw them up and survive. i wont be found for at least a couple of days so hopefully will have time to go but i am just scared of not getting in right in the first place. i agree that at some point in the future we people who are so unhappy MAY feel differently, but at the end of the day it is our choice and if we dont want to live with pain and misery any more then that is our choice and some useful advice would be helpful.
     
  2. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    I dont have any advice for how you are feeling but the reason no methods are posted is because this is a pro life forum.
    Has something happened to make you want to go through with this? Maybe writing it down will help, emptying my thoughts either into a diary or onto the internet helps me feel a bit better.
    :welcome: and take care
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Useful advice get help okay get well i too want to die okay i am in so much pain but it is not just about IIIIIIIIIII there are others who do not deserve to suffer like us okay what right do we have to bring them pain and sadness oh hell sorry tired that all advice get help to just help you survive this pain okay pills what ever okay i hope you find some release take care
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    This is a pro life forum, so obviously there won't be any options here for how to kill yourself. Given that you are here, maybe its worth taking advantage of what the site does offer?

    Do you want to talk about what has brought you to this place where you find yourself right now?

    I also agree with violet. Whilst I would like this over and see no hope for myself, I see it for everyone else (whether they see it for themselves or not) and 'helping' somene die via advice or whatever would make me feel like a murderer because what right does anyone have to remove the option of hope and life from someone when there is hope, they may just not be able to see it.
     
  5. vicki

    vicki New Member

    hi, yes something has brought me to this black hole i am now in. i was in a relationship with an ex from years ago who i loved for over 20 years. we got back together nearly 2 years ago. what i underestimated was what a complete and utter pig he is and the extent of his alcohol problem. we lived together and he put me through hell for nearly 2 years but i cant stay away from him i am addicted to him. to cut a long story short he basically has left me for his ex and i cant cope with it. i put up with so much because i loved him so deeply and he has thrown it all back in my face and contacts me still in the middle of the night every now and then. however if i ever need or want to talk to him its not convenient or he ignores me. i have wanted to end things for a while now as i cant face life anymore. i am just scared that what i want to take wont do the job as i have done quite a lot of research and there seems to be so many failed attempts. i live on my own so have no fear of being found so i guess if i left it long enough i would go. i am just afraid of the consequences if it doesnt work and what i will be left with. if i knew what i had would do it and i would go quickly and relatively painlessly i would take it all in a shot.

    i just dont have the bottle for a violent death, i guess thats a female thing, i thought about a <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>but i just dont think i could do it. pills are the answer for me. have lots of tranquilisers anti depressants strong painkillers etc. i just want to lay quietly and slip away and hopefully go to a better place where there is no more pain. its so sad to find this site in a way, that there r so many souls out there feeling the same way as me and that we feel this is our only option out of our pain. i suppose deep inside somewhere there is something saying it doesnt have to be this way, but what if it is? what if there never will be anything better in your life, do u really want to go on living in hell when u can get release from it?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2010
  6. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Vicki, you are addicted to him. He seems to be self-centered and using you. He is taking from his ex and he is taking from you. He doesn't care about you. Move on, it's not going to get better.

    When you have given your all to another person, and lived with him and loved him intimately, the brain goes through a chemical shift. You begin to need that person. It's like an addiction like cocaine. It gives you that high. If it's withdrawn from you suddenly, it's like removing an addictive substance from an addict. So you are in painful withdrawal.

    Scientists have seen the brains of people in love through MRI technology, and the part for cocaine addiction is lit up when you are in love.

    In a few months or some, you'll be over him, and you will wonder why you wanted to kill yourself over a man who does not care about you.

    Right now you are literally CRAZY in love. Give it time, you will survive.
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I can relate hugely to what you said about your ex and I'm so, so sorry. That is a toxic relationship and many people get caught in them. My toxic relationship was with a 'friend' and oh dear, what a nightmare that whole situation was.

    However, there are ways through it. Have you looked into any sort of therapy? The pain you feel can ease, but it will take time, and probably some help to help you deal with the toxins left over from the relationship.

    I do really, really feel for you though. Where you are now is such a wretched place, but it doesn't always have to be this wretched.
     
  8. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    Don't kill yourself over a man, it's ridiculous, i'm sorry but it is. Especially a man like that is not worth it, sounds like he did you a favor, have some more self respect for yourself why do you think you need to live with someone like that? You need to find yourself and become your own person, it just takes some soul searching.
     
  9. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I am sorry you feel this way, but this site is to help people through their problems by talking it through with others. You can change your life, and everything can go your way. But if you give up hope you have nothing. Grab ahold of hope! It is not too late for you I promise. I too used to feel this way. I was a horrible person who survived some aweful situations, and I felt like death was the only answer. The truth is that no matter what you have been through or what you have done, you deserve to live, and you deserve to be happy. If you re not happy doing what you are doing, do something different. Search out the answers, and you will find it. I personally found mine in Yahweh and his word. My problem was that I was spiritually dead, and knew it. I wanted my physical self to be dead as well because it was aweful feeling dead inside. I am not saying this is you just sharing. Now that I have a spiritual life that goes in harmony with my physical one I am happier. You may not agree with where I found my spiritual happiness, but I do know this. It is too easy to ignore our souls. Do some soul searching, and see where it leads you. I've met several people that have done so and found happiness. :hug: Do not give up. Hang in there! Blessings..
     
  10. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    It sounds like he is an alpha male - dominant, independent and confident enough to make you jealous. Read this site:

    http://www.domesticdeath.com/

    He's probably following the tactics to the book. The only way you can get out of this is to accept that you'll have to settle for a 'lesser' and more pathetic man who will treat you right but is probably a walk-over. Chances are though you're attracted to abusive guys, which is quite common in females, in which case you are your own worst enemy.
     
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