Hello forum, I'm always terrible with introductions. I'd rather not reveal my name. I'm 20. I found this forum earlier this year while things were extremely rough. I've been dealing with a severe depression for the better part of three years. Diagnosed and undergoing treatment for two years. I've had suicidal feelings and thoughts since around spring of 2009. Maybe not as long as other people, but still too long. It was easier to deal with until early this year, since I had someone special who kept me going through it all. Then he left me (we were never a thing, but he was very special to me) and it all went downhill fast. I was more "passively" suicidal before that, wanting to die but never really getting around to it. Then he left, and the pain was unbearable... I got better for a period. I was put into a rehabilitation program so that I was doing stuff during the day instead of sitting home 24/7. It helped, a lot. But lately things have started getting worse, much faster than I would have liked. Nowadays, it feels like nothing is going well and that everything is falling apart again. Like everything is hopeless, really. I might as well admit it, my suicidal feelings have gotten stronger as of late. My insomnia and anxiety problems have resurfaced as well, making life that much more difficult. Well, that's my story.