I don't know. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me anymore. The last year has been hell. I fucked my college course, although managed to scrape enough for university. The problem being the last few months, my teacher has been a complete dick. He aint helped us with work and constantly tries to blame other people for his own disorganisation. He also goes off on some weird mood swings were he starts verbally abusing people and then seems to be fine and happy less than an hour later. He's made it hell and I can be quite happy to say I don't ever have to see him again. Problem is that they know my situation what with being a depressive with suicidal ideation and yet they've offered me no help or even showed any real attempt at making me feel better. Just another of life's problems that people seem happy to ignore, that's all I am. Don't want to take any fucking pills or go through all that therapy shit again but I need help. I'm tired of keeping this some huge fucking secret. Although if I ever let it out publicly, I'd suffer ridicule and total neglect for it. Why the fuck does it have to be like this? The only people who even try to help you are actually paid to do so. God knows my parents never gave a crap and just swept it under the rug and pretended it wasn't there. It's the same with everyone. Everyone knows that depression exists but no one wants to do anything about it and won't even acknowledge or help someone who is suffering. That just darn right aint fair.