Here I am again

[delargeal]

Mixed episode maybe?

Ok, I wasn't really quite so pissed off as the last post maybe sounded.

Recently my mood has been kinda fucked more than normal. I'm bored with everything. I've been pretty much mildly depressed (well as mild as my depression gets) for over a week. I just have no interest in anything, yet I have a lot of energy.

I don't want to do anything, yet I can't just sit around bored. I need to do something.

Throw in the occasional slightly violent anger fits and you pretty much get how I feel.

Depressed mood
Apathy
Energy
Confusion
Inattentiveness
Anger
Insomnia
Lack of pleasure/boredom

That pretty much describes it. So I've got pretty much depression and hypomania. I'm thinking that counts as a mixed episode, am I right?

I don't even really know what I'm doing.

 

[delargeal]

Absolutely ridiculous

Ok, I'm not feeling too bad at the moment, I just want to get this off my chest as it's something that has been bugging me for a little while.

My elder brother can be a real arse sometimes. I cooked dinner for us this evening and I'm fairly sure I'm supposed to be the one who's cooking tomorrow and probably more or less every day my parents are away.

Also, I've in the last year got a little tired of his lack of responsibility, laziness and general slobbishness. It's like he's a spoilt brat sometimes. It just annoys me that I'm sat here as a student (who gets about 3 grand a year from loans) who has to pay bills, buy my own food, cook and clean up after myself and he's nearly in his mid twenties with a full time job and lives at home but pays nothing towards anything besides his supposed rent, which is a lot less than £100 a month, to my parents which includes everything (food, water, clothing, heat etc.)

What pissed me off is about half an hour ago, he says to me "Did Mum and Dad leave any money for food?"

To which I replied "Not that I know of"

"Well how the hell are we supposed to pay for food?"

"How about that money you earn from working?" I replied.

And then he gave me some shit about food being included in the rent, which he admits is ridiculously low.

I swear when my parents get back, I'm gonna start dropping the odd hint of 'maybe you should get him to pay a bit towards the bills' and the like.

I'll admit, my parents pay my rent for me but they in no way pay for food or any of the bills. I'm 19 for christ's sake and I already have more responsibility and independence than a 20 odd year old with a full time job.

 

[delargeal]

Losing my grip

I can't help but feel that I'm delving further and further into madness.

Recently, I've been having this strange fantasy where I basically just self-destruct.

It follows as thus:

I find out somehow that I'm adopted, which pisses me off and depresses me to the point of where I no longer want any real contact with my 'adopted' family.

I go and find my birth parents, and discover that I've not only met them before but have been friends with their two sons for the past year (the youngest being my old housemate). So I found it that I have two older brothers who I have known for a while.

This is more traumatic as you could understand if I was the eldest and they had to give me up for some reason (not ready for a kid, not financially stable etc.) but I am the youngest with two older brothers. So why would they put me up for adoption? They have no excuse that in my mind would count as a good enough reason. They already have two sons, why give up the third?

So basically I fall over the edge and pretty much become an alcoholic. I try to get to know my new family and my new parents but I just can't cope with it. I start drinking even more, finding myself passed out in random places from too much drink and often having to be dragged home by my brothers while my new family is worried about me.

That's pretty much it, it doesn't end. It's just a fucked up fantasy of self destruction where everyone tries to help but I don't let them.

I can't get this fantasy out of my head. Part of me wants it to be true. I think about it all the time. Why would I want to become so self destructive that I alienate the very people that are trying to help me?

I fear I'm slipping further and further into mania or just losing my grip on reality altogether.

It's just too fucked up.

 

[delargeal]

Getting tired of this

As some of you may be aware, after about 6 years my patience is really starting to grow thin.

My knuckle still hurts from repeatedly punching walls a month ago.

People keep making snarky comments of how I spend most of the day in bed. This pisses me off. I've had insomnia for years and they fucking know and they can't do anything but make stupid comments. They don't fucking understand and the next person who makes any kind of comment like that is going to suffer a nice swift punch in the face. Fucking dickheads. I've never kept my insomnia a fucking secret and yet people still make fucking stupid comments.

I also find it annoying that no one ever talks to me. No one even tries to get to know who I am. I admit I'm not the most social of people but when I try, everyone just turns away. No one fucking listens. No one fucking cares.

What the fuck is the point in it all? Some one just fucking tell me? I'm tired of fucking living like this. There is no future for me.

Every day is just a constant battle for life and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. We all die one day, but I can't stand living another minute on this goddamn planet. I can't fucking stand it.

I fucking hate this. I just want it to be over.

 

[delargeal]

Try and start living for myself

I've just got a bit tired of everything.

All I ever try to do is what's right by other people, even if I get hurt or have to sacrifice something I love for it.

I'm tired of people who sit there and pretend to be my friends yet never invite me out and like my former housemates, forget me at every available opportunity (including my own birthday). All I've ever tried to do was make life easier for them.

I had a very thin wall between me and one of my housemates. I learnt fairly early on that coughing annoyed him so whenever I had to cough, I tried not to or used a cushion or something to dampen the sound or just went to a different part of the house. All for the sake of a cough.

I also started using headphones with my laptop for almost everything so I didn't keep him awake at night.

I often lend people money. Do things that I don't want to do just to make everyone happy.

But where was my happiness? Where was my joy? No one ever tried to communicate or be social with me. Yes, I like my privacy but that doesn't mean that I want to spend all my days sat in my room bored off my fucking arse because no one bothered to invite me out.

Where was my happiness? Stagnating in a pit of despair.

That's why I thought the other day that I'm tired of being constantly forgotten. Tired of promises that have never been kept. Tired of spending all my nights alone. Tired of relying on other people to tell me about nights out and stuff.

When I get back to uni, I'm hitting the town (not a piss up though) regularly and I don't care who wants to come or who gives a shit. I'm goddamn fucking tired of living my life around everyone else. Tired of trying to keep the people around me happy and not having the favour returned.

I've spent near 20 years trying to make people happy at my own expense. I'm doing this for me, to do something that'll make me happy for once. If anyone wants to bitch and moan, they can, because I honestly don't give two fucks anymore.

I've spent too much time putting everyone else first. Time to put myself first for a change.

 

[delargeal]

Enough!!!

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work.

Whether it's talking about it, or thinking about it.

This is all I ever hear from my family. They have nothing else to say but whitter on about work, work colleagues, work situations, just work in general almost constantly.

It does my bloody head in. Partly because no one really cares about anything I have to say, probably because I don't work. But I don't need to hear every little fucking thing. I don't give a shit.

I don't know these people they work with so why the hell do I need to know so and so's husband has cancer or so and so used to be a photographer etc. This is all random info about people I don't know, havn't met and probably never will.

I don't need to hear this every hour of every bloody day, it's goddamn fucking annoying. I don't need to know this, it's a subject where I have zero input and even if I tried talking about something else, someone just fucking interrupts and starts talking about work again. It's not fucking healthy.

I have half the mind to become a mute, or start talking to myself. Either one's fine with me. No one gives a shit about what I say besides me anyway so being a mute just means I don't have to bother anymore. Though I would prefer to converse with myself, it's somewhat crazier and people will probably think I've gone psychotic but at least I can actually talk to someone who'll listen for a change and may actually give a shit.

 

[delargeal]

People just depress me

I went on holiday recently as part of a youth group I'm involved with and I was appalled at the behaviour of my fellow staff members. Most of them couldn't give a shit about the kids or even each other for that matter.

It's something I've known for a while. As soon as one officer leaves the room, the others will proceed to bitch about them behind their backs. This means everyone, including myself who they seem to have the lack of sense to talk about whilst I wasn't less than ten feet away from them.

Basically, we are a predominantly all male organisation whose president is a morbidly obese woman who does little but try to strip us of any real power (apparently punishing bad behaviour with washing up duty is considered too CRUEL) and targeting those who could cause any trouble to her presidency.

I grow tired of that woman's constant contradictions and blatant hypocrisy. She said at the start of the week 'don't go saying bad things about other people whilst on site blah de blah de blah because it's wrong' and then she proceeds the next day to bitch about the supposedly appalling behaviour of one of the lads.

The lad in question was a personal friend of mine who I know to be a proud, honourable and decent young man. I admit he is prone to being a bit daft on occasion but it is rare that I have seen him do anything that would be classed even close to being BAD BEHAVIOUR. I grow weary of listening to that woman's bullshit about my friend and grow ever more tired of my fellow officers belief in said bullshit.

Open your eyes arseholes. You're the ones who routinely bitch about this woman and yet you'll believe anything she says despite the evidence. Fucking 'crits.

I'm tired of saying that guy bullied and having his good reputation sullied by a bunch of incompetants who realistically are not even good enough to clean the shoes that guy wears.

Most of the staff are along the same lines as this woman. Among the lines we have a man who will cheat on his wife any chance he gets as well as being a downright jackass as everyone knows (his son, however, is a good lad and of higher moral fibre). We have another guy who again is a downright jackass whose history with women, particularly 2 of my friends with whom he cheated on and were underrage at the time, is less than reputable.

I'm gonna stop because I could quite literally go on for hours about this bunch of bullying, lying, hypocritical pieces of shit that run a supposedly "Christian" organisation and who are supposed to be setting a good example.

For goodness sake, this is who we let look after our kids for a week. These are the role models for our children. I'm amazed those kids are half as good as they are.

That's one thing I can have few complaints about (aside from the odd arsehole here and there) are the lads. A large majority are well behaved young men of high moral fibre and integrity (higher than their officers at least). They may not always remain that way, but I would prefer to have a conversation or just generally be around them than I would my fellow officers.

I can't be around those people. Just knowing who they are disgusts me to the pit of my soul. It depresses me to know that what should be an organisation that seeks to do good can contain so much darkness, so much hypocrisy and so much hatred from the people who run it.

 

[yursomedicated]

I would try maybe joining a new youth group? I'm sure there are so many more that would be more benneficial to you. Just reading the last post shows you care about being a good role model and I think you should use that to your advantage.

 

[delargeal]

It's been a while I know. For some silly reason, I started to move a lot of my ranting to a personal blog (which is not the most sensible idea as it has my name at the top of the page) but no one knows where it is, there are no links on any internet accounts I have and I personally have never mentioned it to anybody.

Mood-wise, I've been generally ok the past few months aside from the usual insomnia and odd depressed moment.

Basically, I'm at panic point with university yet again. I have a deadline on friday for 2 essays that I just really don't want to do.

My bedroom has been pretty much a boiler room due to people putting the heat on in the house, which means I'm now worn out after a mild case of heat exhaustion earlier today and am now less inclined to do the work than I was before.

I've also decided to start looking for a placement for next year (in UK universities, you can take a year out after the second year for job placements or just simply as a year out). However, so far I've found zero placements for my specific industry/degree and have also been informed that most students don't get paid for their placements in this industry but are allowed half their student loan (basically a placement is essentially a year of full time work) so I could end up with a full time job that I don't get paid for and have only about £1,500 to live off for 12 months. So that sounds fun. Need to check all this shit out.

But seeing as my uni grades are going to affect what placement I could get, now you begin to see my problem. I can't fucking do the work, but I want to get a decent placement.

I want good grades but it's so fucking hard to get myself started. What happens if I fail? I'm already trying to work towards becoming part of an industry where there few jobs to be had and thousands of students wanting them. I partly hope that by getting a placement, it'll help me understand what working is like and maybe if I do well, may guarantee me a job after I graduate.

I feel so fucking useless sometimes.

 

[delargeal]

I would try maybe joining a new youth group? I'm sure there are so many more that would be more benneficial to you. Just reading the last post shows you care about being a good role model and I think you should use that to your advantage.

To be fair, I was involved with the youth group for family reasons. I've been pretty much part of it since birth and as much as I would like work with the community in future, now is not the right time and it might not be for a long time.

Whether I return to youth work or not, I will do my part to help the community in the future in whatever way feels right.

 

[delargeal]

Dammit!

Ok, updates on the work front. Got one essay out of the way this morning, got another to do before tomorrow but they'll both be of low quality.

I can't focus. Sometimes I wonder if I have ADD, especially after finding this sentence:

"The more intelligent inattentive children may realize on some level that they are somehow different internally from their peers; however, they are unfortunately also likely to accept and internalize the continuous negative feedback, creating a negative self-image that becomes self-reinforcing."

I've always been different. I've always known. I've never quite been like everyone else and I would think it's obvious to an outside observer that there's something just a little bit off about me. I hate it, but I accept it.

For once I actually want to do well, but I just can't do the work. It's so fucking difficult to get it started and then keep it going. I only stopped working to make some lunch and now I'm back on here ranting about how I can't do it.

I may need help.

 

[delargeal]

I don't want to do today

I don't want to do today, or this week for that matter.

I just really can't be arsed to go to uni or train tonight. Today I should be finding out the grade for the assignment I was last complaining about and I personally dread it.

I've got a presentation on friday which I havn't started yet, and another next monday. Think I may have some kind of quiz on friday aswell. So asides from a bunch of lectures and todays 3 hour lesson, the majority of this week has to be assignment work.

I feel so fucking screwed right now.

 

[delargeal]

Bitch all you want

Hmm. This seems to be a recurring element now. One person who says things that are incredibly insulting but doesn't realise he's being insulting.

Ah, it's just one of those things. Someone basically keeps making comments that are not intentionally offensive, but he doesn't realise how offensive he's being.

Basically, I'm part of the committee for a martial arts club and we've got a tournament next sunday.

First and foremost, the guy keeps making sarcy comments as to me having a bad memory which even he should damn well know isn't true.

Today he made a comment about minibuses for the tournament and then made a comment of 'or are you still arguing about who's doing what?'.

The last bit pissed me off a little bit because we havn't been doing that. We've been trying to make do the best we can in a situation where it's pretty god damn difficult. Hell, I've even forked out £35 to buy some equipment we need and I won't see any of that money back till at least March.

The other part is, no one has been bitching, apart from myself on my unknown blog that no one but me knows exists, about any of that. This makes me think that one of our committee members has been bitching about it.

It wouldn't bother me if that was the case, but it helps when the person who may be doing the bitching has done fuck all anyway so has nothing really to bitch about. 90% of the time me and the other committee members try to sort things, he's no where to be found.

Maybe that's why everyone keeps turning to me and expecting me to make things alright. I only have one job, I shouldn't have to do everyone elses for them. I shouldn't have to have people asking me all this shit and subsequently blaming me if anything goes wrong.

I just wish someone had my back for once.

 

[delargeal]

Sleep

I'm kind of in a bit of a panicky mood right now.

Good news is I've sorted transport for sunday, but I now have 2 assignments due in tomorrow, with bugger all free time to do them.

Basically, it's my sleeping problems. Either there's something wrong with me or my uni timetable (3 days a week, one 3pm start and two 9am starts) is fucking up my circadian rhythm or sleep pattern.

I couldn't be bothered doing any work yesterday and also needed to know which one of the assignments my group would be presenting so I knew which two to write up.

So I figured the best bet was to get an early night and get up around 5am. It would be 6am before I started which gave me 2 hours before I had to go to a 9am lecture and then 2 hours in the afternoon before I had to go training.

I went to bed at 9pm last night and didn't get to sleep until 3am. This meant I slept through all my lectures (and not for the first time) and lost out on around 2 hours of assignment time.

It pisses me off because it's become a recurring thing. So far I've only really managed to attend the noon lectures. I've been to one acoustics lecture and two recording lectures (out of 10).

It annoys me because I really want to try and do well, as I've said many times before, and I just can't achieve because my attendance is so poor because I keep sleeping through all the mornings.

I'm very far behind on a few projects that I would like to do well in. I've also decided to look at a potential career in either acoustics, psychoacoustics or a related discipline but that's almost becoming defunct as I'm getting so far behind with those modules.

I know I'm being paranoid here, but I wonder if I have delayed sleep phase syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_sleep_phase_syndrome). It just describes my problem so well. When I get to sleep, it's normally around the same time 3-5am and I normally get up the same time (around noon-ish) everyday. It's annoying because there's nothing I can really do about it.

Face it, I'm just tired of rolling around in bed for hours before I sleep. I'm tired of trying to sleep when I know I won't. Tired of sleeping through important things that I should be doing.

I just feel so crap right now because of it. I just want a normal sleep pattern. I want to go to bed at 10 or 11, fall asleep easily and wake up at a sensible time like 7 or 8am but it's just impossible for me.

I hate this, I can't achieve because I can't sleep properly. GRRR!!!

Additional: I'm gonna have to get up at 5am again tomorrow. Either that or skip all my morning classes again to write assignments.

 

[delargeal]

Knew today was gonna suck

I knew as soon as I woke up, it was one of those days. One of those days where you feel down so you end sleeping till 1pm and then still feel down the rest of the day.

Ah, it's just martial arts business I gotta do. Knew that when I woke up. Just tired of everyone constantly fucking hassling me about my job. Have they not seen the amount of shit I've had to deal with and the constant fucking whining.

Got pissed off with the whole tournament thing, because we at first decided we wanted a minibus, just to get told five minutes later that we don't want a minibus. Then I get asked a week before the tournament 'Have you sorted a minibus yet?' so I then spend an entire day trying to hunt down a cheap minibus, instead of doing assignments, to then get told 'oh, we don't want a minibus anymore'

AAAARGH!

Got a tad bit pissed off at the tournament, because of the video interviews with the committee of which I was the only one not interviewed. That's nice, I spend hours trying to organise all this bullshit and I don't even deserve a fucking mention on the video. Thanks guys.

Some of the photos were posted today. The only two of me being the group photo and one where my armour was being checked by the referee. None of my actual fight or forms (I really wanted a nice pic of my leopard form) got taken.

So in otherwords, I aint in fuck all photos nor am I gonna be in the final video. And all I had to do to get there was several hours worth of work, stress and being bullshitted around by people. Oh joy.

Gimme a fucking break. Half tempted to quit this fucking committee business, it's too much a pain in the arse. Let everyone else see how fucking difficult it is being whittered at all the time.

I love training, but the people are really starting to get on my nerves.

 

[delargeal]

Christmas Time

I guess you can all see that Christmas has never been the happiest of experiences for me. There is no real psychological trauma surrounding Christmas, but there are certain reasons why I have such a horrible dislike for the day.

1) Vouchers. I hate these with a passion. Half your Christmas presents will be vouchers, often for stores you never use nor have anything you want. You can't use them for anything. So you can get £10 or more of things you don't want and will probably never use. In my eyes, there is not a lot that is more insulting than sending me a fucking voucher for Christmas. People think that money is not a present and yet a voucher is. Wrong, a voucher is just money with limitations. It would be more appropriate to send me a check.

2) Presents. I hate those ridiculous presents you always get from family members and friends who don't know you that well so just send you random soap or aftershave (most of the time from Marks and Spencers). Even more depressing is people that do know you who get you a gift that is highly innappropriate.

A couple years ago, my parents bought me a Dave Grohl biography. Wow, this is my parents who know that I've never been adept at reading books about a celebrity who I've never even pretended to like (I have nothing against Dave Grohl and wouldn't say he's that bad, I'm just not particularly a fan). So I have a book that they know I won't read on someone I don't really like enough to own a biography of. Nice one Mum and Dad.

I also received a 4 pack of Stella Artois from some family friends, said family friends who commented a few days later that they thought I didn't like Stella (which I don't). Why the hell did you give it me then? "Hmm, let's get him some Stella. He doesn't like it, but we'll give it him anyway".

I also mentioned the book part, because I'm fairly sure my parents have got me yet another book (well it's about the right size and feels like it has pages). There is only one book (and also the only present) I actually want this year and seeing as it's currently still in the 'saved for later' box on amazon I can safely assume that isn't it.

I find it difficult to buy for other people as well. I don't think it's fair to give people a random Christmas present that is neither useful nor thoughtful. Ergo, I refuse to insult people by showing a blatant lack of knowledge in their interests and personality.

Although the above doesn't matter anyway as I currently have £5 in my bank account (of which a further £35 will disappear on the 1st for an internet and phone bill). Should point out I have no overdraft so I get charged if I go below zero. Fuck!

My brother wants me to go buy a Christmas card tomorrow for our Dad. I said I'd have to drive to town, he said I should take the bus. Do bus drivers accept imaginary fare? Probably not.

Face it, Christmas sucks.

 

[delargeal]

Who am I?

This is a question a lot of people ask themselves. Who the hell am I?

I'm just not sure who I'm supposed to be these days.

I'm not doing well in uni. I just have next to no interest in my current set of modules. Because of my sleeping problems, I keep skipping lectures and tutorials. Other times I just can't be arsed.

I don't even know if this is what I should be doing. So far, my two main ideas for what I want to do with my degree is either work in acoustics or something more audio visual. Problem with acoustics is that most jobs and stuff deals with environmental and building acoustics. I want to do something a bit more creative than taking measurements of buildings, writing equations and stuff like that. I'm more interested in psychoacoustics and things that fall into that area.

On the audio visual side. I did terrible at that module last year due to inexperience and lack of teaching (I'm a music student, what makes you think I know anything about video editing) but it is something I would be interested in. But what are the chances of me getting a job in it. Pretty much zero.

I'm a writer also, having recently come off about an 8 month hiatus. Now I find that before I had all these ideas and no motivation but now I feel as though I have more motivation but next to no ideas. I had a bit of a panic attack a short while ago because I had NO ideas at all. My head was empty, which is rather frightening to me.

I'm a martial artist, although not a very good one, and occasional gymnast. These are things that I love and care about deeply (I'd like to think that I'd already be dead if I hadn't started kung fu) yet I need to put the time and the effort in to be any good at it.

I don't know who I am. Am I an acoustician? Am I a video maker? Should I be focusing on my career? Am I a martial artist?

I'm also lonely. It's been a while since I had a girlfriend. I just wish that I could wake up in the morning and see that special someone lying next to me. I just don't want to be alone anymore. I just need someone to tell me that everything is gonna be okay.

I don't have time. How can I be great at my job, whilst being a great martial artist, whilst being a great and prolific writer? How am I supposed to keep up a relationship and be great at the rest? I don't know

Stupid part is that I'll probably end up working in some shitty office somewhere. Sat there thinking 'what the fuck am I doing here?' and not really using my degree. The way I'm going, I'll probably be at the bottom of the wrung, having given up most of my motivation, my happiness in just settling for something I don't want to do.

 

[delargeal]

Uni

Argh goddammit. Just a quick rant. Skived uni last friday, felt like an arse for it.

Skipped uni again today. Stupid part, I was up in time. In fact I could still go to my lecture now but going in 45 minutes late to a lecture is not my kinda thing.

So I skipped a lecture that I should have gone to. I now feel like a complete dick.

Why do I keep doing this? All I want to do is do well and succeed at what I do. How is that so hard? I don't want to keep doing this, I just don't know how to stop.

 

[delargeal]

Yet another university based rant

Greetings all reading this. Yes it's time for another university based rant.

I may not have mentioned this before but the one constant piece of aggravation is the lack of detail with assignment briefs. They do not tell us what to do for our assessments and our tutors havn't been much help either.

I say this because I have grown tired of the number of times I have received a shit grade at university simply for the fact that the brief has not contained proper details of the assignment and if it does, is often worded badly or difficult to understand or the correct information can be found elsewhere in an unrelated section of the brief.

The other day, we had an assessment. A skills audit. The purpose of this was to outline what roles were necessary for the project, which roles I would be undertaking and the research I plan to carry out. Also to be included was a side of A4 from each group member detailing the above.

We did our assessment which was a complete disaster. We were constantly asked about our research and being asked to evaluate the project so far. We admitted to the tutors that we thought the assignment was going badly and one of them says:

"Yes, well, I normally like to start feedback with something positive but I'm finding it hard to come up with anything positive"

Arsehole.

During this time, the brief was mentioned by one of the tutors (a frequent happening at our assessments) and that we should have just followed that. In response a member of our group stood his ground and admitted that we all had in fact followed the brief, to which the reply was that we should have asked the tutors if we had trouble understanding the brief.

Funny thing, the tutor who said this had been asked by our group the week before what we were required to do for this assessment and been told to do exactly what we did in our assessment.

It annoys me. I can't achieve the grades I am more than capable of because of useless assignment briefs and tutors who themselves don't seem to know what the brief is on about.

I already know of one person in my class who is planning to leave and finish his degree elsewhere and after monday's assessment, there were considerably more people who would want nothing more than to do the same, including myself.

Get your fucking act together. I came to uni to learn something and get a degree. If this carries on, there will be no degree or it'll be a hell of a lot lower grade than any of us expects or deserves.

I'm tired of this bullshit.

 

[delargeal]

More ranting

Just a short little rant.

Things I am growing tired of

1) Uni

2) People who don't pull their own weight and leave everything for me to do

3) People who don't tell me things that are actually important

4) People who don't tell me things and then either get in the way or start moaning because I havn't done what they didn't tell me to do

5) Certain people's names who keep cropping up all the time that are neither responsible for the task at hand, or are what caused the problem in the first place by not telling anyone about it (directly relates to point 3).

6) People who don't want to have to deal with me on a problem which I am supposed to be responsible for solving and then emailing someone else (point 5) who isn't responsible for sorting it.

The 4 main aspects of my life just seem to be out to get me these days.