here i am again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TJ, Sep 27, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    well for the past 12 years ive suffered with varyious forms of Self Harm. it was just a small problem in my early years... but now for me its become apart of who i am. ive finally managed to get up 10 weeks of no self harm at all but the last few days have been hell for me, and now all i want to do it SH. deep down i feel guilty for doing it because it always ends up hurting others but i really dont have any other way of dealing with whats going on for me especailly ways that work .. i cant stand the voices telling me to do it , i cant stand the thoughts that are taking over and i cant handle the pain that is just so intense ... i know that i should talk to someone about how i feel but tbh i dunt want to bring up these painful things , and i dunt want to look like an idiot . every thought that i have now is of ways i could harm myself even to the point of just wanting to end things im sick of feeling so down and out it takes so much energy , energy that i just dont have . but i cant seem to make myself feel ok no matter what i do. im scared because tomorow my flat mate is going away for the week which means that i wont have to be so careful about my actions no one else lives here and its "perfect" timing . the other part of me doesnt care about anyone else and anything thats going on i just want to get some reliefe from my feelings and thoughts .. this is a dangerous place for me to be in ive become really good at not talking to people who can physically stop me from harming myself . i guess for me there really is no hope in stopping harming myself for good , ill always be the freak show that i am ... over it all and just want to be ok for once ...
  2. xXxJJxXx

    xXxJJxXx Active Member

    try to stay strong, you've already done so well to go so long. I don't think other people understand how difficult it is to overcome a problem. I believe in you though and I'm sure you'll do the right thing. Try to keep yourself busy so you don't think about it as much and try to talk. I've gone 364 days now it's been difficult but I know I'm doing the right thing. Avoid things that may tempt you as well. Let us know how you do. Xx
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi E and so sorry things are so are a wonderful, giving person who deserves to be happy...please re consider talking to someone...and remember, we all fall of the wagon...we are either idots nor worthless, just in a lot of pain...PM me if I can remind you how valuable you are...big hugs, J
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.