Its a little hilarious, life. We live here, pondering to ourselves, our point of being, wasting out existence on our worthless thoughts... Recently, I've been emptied of all my care for life. I don't give a fuck why were here, and don't care about much. I've been molested three times, two of those times by initially stated 'best friends'. Once by my best friends brother. Nice. Well The last two instances are old news, happened to long ago for me to careless. I've accepted that it happened, fuck me right. This all takes place Two Months ago. But. I had a friend, knew him all through high school. The dumb piece of shit. We did everything together... trust and all. Typical best friend or whatever. We graduate high school and on graduation day we all go out drinking. Also, a month before graduation, I was talking to another one of my best friends, loved this guy! His name was nick, I got a call from him, since he had recently moved to Oregon from California, he talked about how he would be down in California to us (our group of friends) graduate. Two days later...I found out he died in a car crash. After he hung up the phone with me, him and his friends went out, an hour later he died...I talked to him an hour prior to his death, and didn't find out till two days later. Now back to the first fucked up story I was trying to tell. We (my group of friends) were drinking to Nick. My best friend had past away, some one I loved, drinking it up, trying to get rid of the pain. Remembering his being. It was fun, no more high school, we were free. We were in a barricaded area and we had two cars. I fell asleep in the front. The second car drove off and took everyone else home. So there were three of us left. I had my so called back stabbing 'best friend' Tim sitting in the front with me, and another best friend named Anthony knocked out in the back seat. So I'm sleeping...and there's a hand going up my leg. I'm tired, I think I'm dreaming. The hand goes higher, up my dress, on my ass, rubbing....Then up to my breasts. I glance at the clock a couple times, he was rubbing me for hours. Come the next day, I don't say anything about it, I thought it was a dream. Then my "best friend" who sat in the front seat with me says jokingly "sorry, if I accidentally touched anyone last night...I wasn't there". I froze. Anthony gets a call from a friend who was there that night, tells him to ask me if everything was okay with me, because Tim was acting weird. We drop Tim off. Anthony talks to me in the car and asks if anything happened. I tell him that Tim had his way with me, that I thought it was dream at first until that smart ass comment he made. So...I dont give a shit why were on this earth. This is what has happened only recently. I'm going to drown myself. I cant handle loosing Two best friends in fucked up ways. I miss Nick. He was a sweet fucking guy. Loved life, kept things alive. fuck.