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Here we are again

Legate Lanius

Will spend less time online, afk 4 a few months
Another attempt at work/school/anything but being a NEET worked out as expected. I was born too late to pick up odd jobs without a resume and too early for some work-free, enlightened, AI-powered, high-tech, VR-utopia. I don't have the personality to work any real job, neither do I have the stamina. Back to square one, unemployability without any passion or interest. I believe that the reason people are able to work/study full-time is that they are able to experience positive emotions. Even if that is completely unrelated to their daily tasks. Coming home to your girlfriend, gaming, eating dinner, alcohol, music, doing drugs, etc- and somehow feeling good from that. If not, then the will to survive (not accepting death) keeps you working for basic necessities.

Since I have neither, I can only feed off of this planet without returning anything but shit, piss and blood. It has been like this ever since I left my regional equivalent of high-school. I have tried a bunch of meds and therapists for the anhedonia. I would love to die, it is my life purpose. The best thing to happen, the one thing that I can look forward to. That is why I want to fast-forward this horrible pain-machine's timeline.

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