This has been going on for awhile now... But the suicidal thoughts didn't start until a few months back, maybe a little earlier. I've obviously spoken to others about this before but it's always been really hard. Whenever I talk about it, I just feel so weak and helpless... and sometimes I tell myself that I probably sound like a fake/attention ***** whenever I bring it up. I'm wondering if anyone else has felt that way before. I've had depression for a little over two years now, I'm still young. I'm starting my first year of high school in less than two weeks. I still remember the day it started and I had no idea what it was. I just woke up and felt... different. When I started to realize that it was probably depression I told my best friend who also has it and has been through quite a lot of shit. She said I probably had it as well and should tell my mom or an adult. I didn't do that immediately, I was undoubtedly embarrassed and I felt bad about making my mom upset or worried. My parents had just gone through a divorce recently as well. When I finally told her she first thought it was because of the divorce, but I'm certainly okay with it. I made a quick recovery after it happened. I started cutting about a month into it. The first time I did, the size was small and barely noticeable. But then I did it again, and again, and the size and distinction increased after each time. I still do it to this very day. I also have these moments where I feel so awesome and inspired to do things but then they just kind of disappear, and sometimes really fast. That's another thing I hate. I think that should be enough back story, I'm still not entirely clear about why I have it though. I've met a lot of good people, they've helped some, I mean I'm still alive right? That's all I really have to say for now... thanks.