Well, this is pretty much why i came here. I´ve been going trough a psychiatrist and a psychologist for quite a while now, almost a year. For what i know it doesn´t work much, and each time i go it even seems more pointless... Now i pretty much only dedicate my life in drowning myself in anti-depressive´s and anti-psychotic´s. My life is been quite a nightmare, further on i guess I´l go on with the details... but its been since childhood so its a long road ahead to explain myself. I dont like to complain about my life though, i know im not the only one thats had it rough and I´m sure others are having it worse... so i dont belive i should. I´l just limit this into how i feel right now. I´ve never been happy for what i recall, not before, not now. Sorrow, hate and lonliness are probably the only things im made of... and each day goes by i just close myself in more and more, i dont enjoy the company of people anymore, i just want to be alone all the time i can and slowly i grow a need to make other people feel what i feel, to make others feel pain in some sort of way. Myabe its jelousy of others happiness, but i can only recognize the hate. I wake up as tired as if i never slept, i barely have energy for anything and probably the med drain whats left of them. Everything seems pointless to me, and i hate the world itself... how it works, how selfesh human nature is. I just cling on to the thought that maybe one day, just for once the next day i wake up it isin´t going to be as dull as the day before, but i know its not true... not if i do something to change it, and i dont have the strength any more to do so. I just rather not wake up... I cant actually even bother to go buy a rope and hang myself, and that is the best solution i can actually think of.