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Here yet again

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ZakPup, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. ZakPup

    ZakPup Well-Known Member

    Here I am after over a month of not having to. I guess there was a lull in the depression, no meds or anything and finally thought i got over it. But here i am again, posting another desperate plea for help among the other individuals seeking help.

    As I said its been over a month since i've had the urge to end my life. I don't know how or why, but all i know is its back. The only problem is its worse than before. I guess just lots of the shit that im going through right now isn't helping my depression much, in fact all it seems to do is amplify it.

    I was doing dishes today and i cut myself on a knife, didn't cut deep but it brought back the familiar feel, and it just set me off. Now I have the strong urge to cut again, or do more like my last attempts. Luckily most of the stuff is still hidden from my last suicide watch, but i dunno how long i can hold out with everything right now.

    Guess I'll try the hotlines, but i dunno if it'll work... didn't the last times. But hey I'll be on here all day so hope to get some response.

    Thanks for reading ^^
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Hey there,

    Welcome back to SF, though it's a shame that you feel this bad again :hug:

    Have you ever spoken to a professional about the way you're feeling? For me things have gotten better since I've started therapy :smile: Maybe it'd help you as well..

  3. ZakPup

    ZakPup Well-Known Member

    Not an option really for me. No job. No money. Those together = absolutely no possible way to get to town to even get the mental health clinic help.
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Oh I'm sorry to hear that :sad:

    Have you tried Samaritans yet? You can email them, it might help?

    For me, distraction helps me to feel better as well. Just going out for walks and stuff. Sporting is also good. It increases the amount of endorphine (I think that's the word) in your brain which usually helps to make you feel better or something. You could go running or something :unsure:
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Hi Zak,

    Welcome back, but sorry to read you are so low again.

    Don't give up on the mental health services. Here in Ireland they have community psych. nurses who do home visits (that's what I started with until I was well enough to get out and about). My nurse managed to get me a medical card to pay for prescriptions (couldn't afford them), and together we found a therapist who works on a sliding scale.

    Still, you need some energy and supports to tackle all the paperwork and bureaucracy, that's where an advocate comes in, someone who will help you figure out your options and keep you on right track.

    Is there anyone - other than us of course - that you can confide in? All you need is one person who will help set you up with supports.

    You mention suicide watch, have you attempted before? Did you get any treatment at the time? Might you call on those people again for some help?

    Thing about depression is that it's hard to 'think' your way clear, you just end up going around in circles. It can take an outsider to help you start to see your worth again, and to help you keep going when suicide is just so tempting.

    I hope you will try the hotlines, if you are in the States I think there are a few so maybe keep trying until you find one that works best for you. Me, Samaritans were too vague, but there's another one (only open a few hours each night, 6 to 10pm sadly).

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