i suppose it didn't help that i went to bed last night around 5 and woke up around noon today. but it's now almost three and i have to be up at 7 getting ready for work and trying to go through the motions of having a normalish day at work. unfortunately, i have a feeling that i'm going to be called in for a review tomorrow, and i have nothing prepared and i don't really think it's a great idea to try to talk about all my wonderful virtues as an employee when i can barely keep my eyes open. i guess i could take an extra dexedrine in the morning to try to prop my eyes open with meds, but that's not really a great answer. and coffee just makes me jittery on top of everything else. i'm not sure why i have so much trouble sleeping ... i don't generally have nightmares and when i do dream, they are often lucid dreams that i have my way with. i just don't like going to bed until i am dead tired ... and i love being awake while the rest of the world is sleeping. it's such a peaceful time of the day. quiet, dark, i get to be alone with my thoughts without annoying interruptions from my roommate or his son ... it's bliss. i'm just dreading the moment that alarm rings in the morning telling me to get my ass out of bed, jump in the shower, and get ready in a flash so i don't keep my ride waiting again. it's going to be a difficult next two days unless i can come home tomorrow and just CRASH until friday morning. somehow i doubt that will happen. it seems that everyone wants a piece of me even after i come home exhausted from expending all my energy to put on my work face and pretend everything is ok to ensure my job security. sometimes it's just too much.