Heroin addict who has drained her parents savings & can't deal I want to die NOW

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bluegrassgirl, Jan 12, 2013.

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  1. Bluegrassgirl

    Bluegrassgirl New Member

    Well I basically summed it up in the title. Im 38 and have 3 boys 20, 18, 8. They live with my parents cuz I'm just a complete mess. Have no job have applied everywhere. I have the best parents alive. I was strung out on pills like 8 years ago and was lean for 5 but tried that dog food and it got me now I've just completely drained my parents savings by using excuse after excuse don't see my sons more than a couple times a week cuz I don't want them to see me like this. I'm with a man who Luis me dearly but he is in the same boat. We r functional junkies and r looking for employment I have a degree in computer science and he is the best and I mean best tile man in the state, but there is just no work anywhere. I pay my bills, groceries, etc. but what is ripping my heart out is ding this to my parents. I've went through thousands and thousands of dollars and they r at the age of retirement and shouldnt have to put up with this shit! I luv them so much they're all I have. I'm an only child and have not one friend. I believe I'm bipolar also and am literally at the end of my rope but ive been hanging on for one reason and one reason on,y my 8 year old Conner. He is my heart but I want what's best for I'm and don't want him to see his omma like this. I don't know where to turn or what to do. If anyone could just talk to me I'd appreciate it more tha u could ever imagine. Help!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Im sorry hun your addiction has caused you so much harm If not for you then for your son hun get in and get treatment go to rehab hun your son needs you No more harm ok get in and get the help you need show your son that reaching out for help is a good thing h un get treatment ok
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey, you may want to try getting into a methadone program or maybe suboxone.

    The worst thing that you could do for your parents and for your kids would be to kill yourself.

    If you can get into a good treatment program, there's a good chance that you will be able to find work and pay your parents back. Not any easy road, but it can be done.

    There is a forum here to talk about addiction issues. Also there are some other forums on the web that have some info on opiates.

    I've read that suboxone is a better treatment than methadone because it has a lower potential for abuse. I think it's more expensive though

    hope that things can get better soon!
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have heard a lot of people doing good on both these medications. Definitely something to consider if you're still having difficulty.
  5. J.benji

    J.benji Member

    Hi Bluegrassgirl, I just wanted to say.
    I am:
    have one 8.y.o son
    live with my parents.
    addicted to heroin for over ten years.
    I know how you feel. I am sure of it.
    I can not offer answers.
    I cant just say "do this do that this is how u fix it"
    All I can say is I am here with you.
    We can talk if that helps.
    I am glad YOU have someone.
    I will be honest. Having an addict bf/gf/whatever makes it harder to stop.
    BUT does NOT mean yall cant.
    All i can say is
    Something must be done.
    We can fix this.
    It will suck and I know I am scared
    but we can fix this.
    Please respond.
    I dont have anyone to discuss with.
    No pressure if u cant respond REALLY.
  6. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Hello J.benji -

    You may want to start your thread on this topic if looking for support - this thread was started nearly a year ago and is not an active member since it was started.
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