heroin - all feels well with the world.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TooShyToScream, May 17, 2011.

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  1. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    So I tried for the first time and it makes everything feel okay. Even lessens my social anxiety. If only psych meds did that...
     
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    i urge you not to go along this pathway... if you have problems now, i promise that if you take this route your problems will be a hundred times worse before too long... much better to sort through the root of your social anxiety and other problems than to do this...
     
  3. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    i agree with *sparkle* i would not continue down this path. i have not personally tried heroin, but am aware of many peoples experiences with it. it is hard to quit the habit and can be devastating. it has the ability to destroy a lot of things, regardless of the feelings you get while on it. i would def suggest going and sorting out your problems with something other than heroin (or any other hard drug)
     
  4. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    http://suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=92023

    Please read this thread. There are alot of heroin suvivors who have posted in there. Heroin is not going to do you any good, it's only going to make you "feel" better while you are on it, but when you are not, you will start to suffer dearly as a result and only find comfort in the drug. This is the worst possible way to go with drugs. I urge you to take a step back, and try to remember that you can get better, that there is hope for a better life. Don't look at too much at once, but try to remember or atleast begin to know that you can get better. But i can guarentee you that I know of no one that has ever found any true comfort or salvation in heroin.

    I know you might dismiss it, because you feel you can do this, or don't care.. but ... try and remember if you do decide to do it again. Right before you do it, that there are people that care about you, and want you to feel better. And who know that this drug is going to only hurt you.

    I hope some more people post soon. :S Please dont do it again.

    And.. Thanks for posting about it. Idk, ... if you want to talk about anything you can pm me. I hope you can talk in here atleast.
     
  5. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Of course it makes eveything ok, thats what heroin does. Doesnt last very long though. You'll keep on using it thinking you have it all under control and indeed you believe you in fact have no problem. Then youll begin to find that smoking it on the foil doesnt achieve what you want it to anymore and you find yourself truning to needles instead. Then you will end up homeless, in prison and you still wont believe you have a problem. Then you end up with Hep C or HIV or if your really unlucky, both, but you still believe you wont have a problem, until one day you start to view the people around you and you start to see how everyone looks down on you, for some people though thats not enough and they still dont believe they have a problem.

    I share this because if you carry on the way you are this is you, this will be your life until death more than likely, but by that time you will have no one and all your family will hate you and you will have no friends left.
     
  6. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Well firstly, I currently have no friends as it is...by choice. I hate people. Secondly, I snorted it. Thirdly, I will never go with my fiance to get it again. I was way too nervous about cops seeing. I can't stop him from doing it though. Fourthly, I will never do needles. I don't want a disease. I know it's bad for me and I get what you and everyone else is saying but it's a nice vacation from life. I've been doing opiates for months now anyway and I'm not addicted. I want them, but I don't need them. I have experienced opiate withdrawl before and yes it sucked and was painful, but I stopped using for a few days and was fine again. On the other hand, I do feel guilty that I have to resort to something like this, especially being that a year ago I was totally against drugs and those who did them...but my family won't find out and therefore they can't hate me. .
     
  7. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    As I said in the post above, I used to be against drugs...until I tried them. Knowing people who did it and doing it are not the same thing. It's easy to instill in your head how bad it is for you when you've never done opiates or heroin before and stop yourself from ever trying. But once you do try it, it turns your entire mindset around. It's that good. My fiance is addicted to it and I know his experiences with it, I know how much he struggled, and I do keep that in mind though.
     
  8. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    you say you take opiates but arent addicted - you probably wouldnt have been taking them for months if you weren't addicted.... and wayne is absolutely right.... you will eventually find that one method of taking the drug isn't satisfying you and you WILL find new methods - however stupid you see them now... this is a completely different kettle of fish than even opiates.... what you are doing is very dangerous for your future - your problems will become worse than what they already are. its a guarantee. i promise. please reconsider and try and sort through your problems in a more productive and positive way - a way that will allow you to HAVE a life and one day ENJOY a life - you may not be able to imagine that right now.... but taking the right steps towards that make a much more likely result than what you are doing now...
     
  9. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I usually take suboxone. Heroin was just a treat this one time. I will do it again until we don't have any left but then not again for a long time.
     
  10. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I say I'm not addicted because I don't use them every day. Only when my depression/anxiety gets bad. If I were addicted, I would use them every day no matter what. And my fiance has been addicted for 10 years now and never used a needle. So it's not necessarily bound to happen.
     
  11. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    gosh, and you are willing to take that risk? do you think it will resolve your problems? my husband works with people who start off like you are right now... oftentimes they end up with no money, on occassion a criminal record, sometimes homeless, mental and physical health problems and with a whole range of social problems. can you really risk this? is this better than the life you currently have? would these things help you? please hun - think through whats going on properly and clearly when you are able to do so... i wouldnt want to see you making this mistake. :hug:
     
  12. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Kinda.

    Pathetic, isn't it?

    I already have a range of incurable mental and physical health problems, including borderline personality disorder, which is the worst. And tons of social problems...I have terrible social anxiety. It's so bad that when my fiance's dad brings a friend over (we live with him), I wait hours until they leave to even go to the bathroom...let alone eat or take a shower if I need to. When I was on H yesterday, I was actually talkative and wouldn't have given a shit if he had a dozen people over.
     
  13. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    For the short time that I was in jail (45 days), I got a celly (other prisoner, same room) that was coming off heroin, and that was a hard thing to watch. He eventually normalized, and was very lucid and able to work in the community garden.

    After seeing my cellmate coming off heroin, and the fallout with it, I'd hate to see you get addicted to it.
     
  14. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I only took 1 bag during a 4-6 hour period last night and I feel fine today, not even tired or depressed or anything. But I know about opiate withdrawal. I've seen it and felt it before. It's definitely painful.
     
  15. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    You are fine(from the opiate withdraw) probably because you've had heroin.
    The withdraw symptoms are completely different and extremly more long in duration for heroin, but.. ill let wayne tell you about it. Cause .. I mean. :S

    Your fiance does it? Can i ask how long he has been doing it for?
    I donno.. maybe you need to ask yourself would heroin even be an option if he wasn't there? I don't mean to be an asshole about it, but.. this stuff isn't a once in a blue moon retreat. Waynes summed it up extremely well. You may look at the future prospects of heroin and say ill never do that. But that's what happens. Your convictions now get dissolved by the desire and need for that feeling that you find so, .. "vacation like".

    :S idk... You are worth more then any sort of escape this can offer. Sorry if that sounds insulting, i dont mean it to be.
     
  16. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    When I was sitting in class one day, my stomach started hurting as though I'd just swallowed razors. That was suboxone withdrawl. Also, I threw up before I got to class on the train that morning. I had to get off a few stops early just to throw up. Again, I know what the symptoms for heroin and opiate withdrawl are/could be. I saw my fiance go through it. He's been addicted for 10 years now, but he's been on suboxone treatment for 5 of those years and only used heroin a couple times during those last 5 years. He lets me take his suboxone when I feel depressed and can't handle it. No, it wouldn't be an option without him. But neither would life itself. And I did it because I chose to, it had nothing to do with him...and I'm glad that it's an option when I'm with him because nothing else helps.
     
  17. Arthur523

    Arthur523 Well-Known Member

    I agree with everyone else in saying that you shouldn't do heroin. Drugs like heroin make you feel like a super human that can do anything, and of course it is going to make us want more and more and more because it is just sooooo appealing. I've been told by lots of people that addiction just sort of creeps up on you, and once you're addicted then I guess you become so dependent on it because when you are not on it you feel sick and horrible.

    I've only done heroin once in my life, and it turned my shy and unconfident little self who has only been with a few girls in my entire life to the life of the party who couldn't shut up talking and I think I introduced myself to more people than I have in my entire life. After a solid hour of being on it, I realized just how out of character I was acting, so I sat back and lied on the ground for a little bit (I was at an outside party) and as I was laying there unnoticed by anyone, I overheard like 3 or 4 girls (very attractive girls btw) literally FIGHTING over me. That's when I knew that I couldn't continue to use heroin because I knew deep down inside that no matter how hard I would try that I would most likely become a hardcore addict and it could lead to me inevitably killing myself slowly.

    Stay away from it, drugs are just a temporary vacation from your normal life issues. You're best off exploring other natural and less harmful substances at least if you are to do anything like that.
     
  18. Arthur523

    Arthur523 Well-Known Member

    Here's a little snippet in the Heroin section of www.erowid.org:

    "One of the most problematic aspects of heroin is that it causes rapid tolerance and physical dependence. In combination with its euphoric effects, this leads many people to become addicted, having difficulty controlling their own use. Once physically dependent, discontinuation generally causes extremely unpleasant (but not life-threatening) withdrawal symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, insomnia, diarrhea, and sweating."
     
  19. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Damn, you went ahead an done it - I thought you might - especially with a fiancée who is already addicted.

    I think I even told you that you'd think heroin was the best drug you ever tried. The danger is that heroin cuts through depression and anxiety like a knife through butter - I mean this is a drug we'd give to some poor solider who just had his legs blown off.

    If a drug can make you feel peaceful and high even with your legs blown off - it is strong as hell!

    I've never used it despite being in one of those areas were addicts are common and the fallout from the heroin trade is measured in the misery it brings.

    But the thing with heroin and depression - its does not last long. The romance with heroin is short-lived, that's why every heroin addict remembers the 'good old days' and 'the first time'. Older addicts I know, some three decades or so into addiction - they are all wrecks. I only know ONE out of hundreds who works and pays for his habit.

    A few weeks ago I met an old acquaintance, 'one of the lads' you might say. He had moved into a house near me and was all 'knock up any-time' and 'what number do you live in?' - I'd not snub anyone - but heroin addicts, no WAY would I let one into my home - apart from the one I know with a big enough wage not to have to steal anything.

    Anyhow, if you have any sense - you'll recognise in yourself an addict just waiting to take the moral downturn in life an addict needs. You being a young women - I'm actually more than worried. I know the filth who would see a girl like you as some object to use in their twisted little adventures.

    Maybe right now you find this offensive - the very thought you'd prostitute yourself. I'm painting the worse case scenario because, trust me, heroin is a worse case scenario right now - and due to you suffering from various problems, its the LAST thing you actually need in your life. Also, for your fiancée, this is a disaster for him also UNLESS you really do say to yourself NEVER AGAIN and consign that sh** to experience and history.

    Don't include it in any future.

    I've seen people use it out of curiosity but that was in the early when it was a new thing, at least to our generation. Nobody knew much about it - but today's youth are or should be wise as hell about it, seems as we grow up looking at the addicts!

    But, I don't want to make you feel like this is the end of the world or anything - your still a nice person - you got attributes I admire and I was hoping you could be the rock for your man whilst he gets his addition sorted. You cannot have a family with this around. Some drugs, we can use and raise families. With heroin, unless you are extremely rich and connected to some private doctor - its impossible really.

    Anyhow, like I said, I've seen people use heroin the once. Close friends. I knew they had enough to last them maybe three 'smokes' as they smoked it off silver foil and in one instance, a friend used it in a joint.

    Those who bought another bag - generally got a taste for it. I guess once you've bought three or more bags - you are a natural addict - you took a shine to it and like millions felt depression or anxiety or terrible stress was 'cured' pretty much in an instant as soon as the opioid does its 'magic' and releases 'feel good' chemicals in the brain.

    In many ways it works like an anti depressant ought to work. You take it and feel an effect straight away - not 8 weeks later, and then its still a toss up as to whether the medicine works. Heroin works on almost everyone - some might have a tolerance but anyone in the world, administered heroin, would report a feel good state of being.

    The classic well known effects of opium were for centuries pretty much sold over the counter without the UK collapsing into a society that could not invent, produce, wage numerous wars and occupations and so on. Some of our most productive years were spent at a time when the availability of drugs was not an issue.

    Alas, the historical reports all indicate that many remedies which contained heroin and cocaine, did lead to addictions which bought on symptoms worse than the original complaints.

    Heroin was invented to act as a cure for opium addiction. It sure worked - all the opium addicts got turned into heroin addicts.

    The worse part of it for people with depression is that heroin addiction really does use up a lot of the emotional resources we need for genuine times of pain and stress. That instant answer, works for a while, but it always comes back on itself - and whereas you once used heroin to overcome depression, the actual physical process and mental process of addiction becomes the end result.

    There are only two ways this can end Tanya, and I think you know what they are.

    Stop using it after just one bag - you'll be like a lot of people. Use it twice and not go back, you'll be part of a rarer group. Anyone who uses three times, scores three times, would be a rare one if they never went back again.

    I'll be keeping a watch out for you - only because I'm concerned and like I say, I think your a good person at heart who does have a lot to offer. I hate to see a nice girl get mixed up in heroin because with addiction, there is no happy ending.

    I hope you see sense.

    Best of luck as ever - knew you would not listen to your irate online adopted 'ish' uncle in England - but neither did I on a lot of things when I was your age.

    We can but hope and have some faith in you.

    The thing is - getting you to have faith in yourself!! But we'll get there I'm sure.

    Regards. Best wishes and God Bless one and all. Even the atheists.
     
  20. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    So you completely trust the word of a heroin addict? :lol!: ok then. Every single person i used to use with, some snorted, some smoked but every single one of them had used needles at one point or another.
     
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