he's dead!!! :'-(

[Sa Palomera]

WHY WHY WHY!!!!

I almost killed myself last night. the this morning my housemate whos one of my best friends came into my room. about a week ago we sent a letter to the teacher we had about 7 years ago, when we were in hte same class. Very nice guy. We got a letter back. We were all happy when we opened it. Guess what. the letter came from his wife telling us he died about a year ago.

WTF?

WHY????
WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE??? HE WAS NOTHING BUT A GOOD MAN.!!!! NOTHIG BUT A GOOD MAN??!!!!! he was the last to deserve to die out of a heartattack while walking his dog with his wife.

I cant believe it. he was so nice! he took my friend in his house when she couldn't live with her parents, he was such a nice man. He was there for everyone. He was actually the one who replaced our previous teacher when he died of a heart attack.

Can you imagine. we were a bunch of 10 year olds when we got a teacher, X. then he died cos of a heartattack. THen we got a new teacher, Y. who did a marvellous job, being there for us, and for everyone,. Such a beautiful man. and now we sent a totally happy and enthusiastic letter to him, and we get a letter back from his wife saying he had a heartattack about a year ago!. I can elieve it.

WHY HE!!!???

I'm the one who should die, not he.

everyone I care about seems to be dropping dead at some point. I honestlyu dont knw how muc moe I can take. I guess I'll just continu drinking then.

 

[Sa Palomera]

i mean, we didnt even get the chance to go to the funeral. we just find it out a year after he died...

honestly he was such a nice guy.

how much more will I get on my plate? Is somekinda god trying to test me? see how much I can have before I break? well, he's doing a good job, I'm bending over very much and about to break. I am starting to crack already, but I cant go. I get all these people telling me that if I go, they're gonna go too. I can't leave my housemate like this. She says I'm the only one who understands her. She didnt even want to talk to her boyfriend. Only to me. and get drunk together.

I mean fuck it I didnt even have breakfast yet and I'm already through on bottle of alcohol. Have half a bottle of rum left now. will finish it today, no doubt about it.

i need distance. Tomorrow I'm getting my new phone. y'all can delete the old number.

 

[Sa Palomera]

and sorry I dont make sense. making sense is the lst thing I care aboutrigh now

oh and dont bother worrying, I'm not gonna do anythng stupid, unless you call getting drunk and crying my eyes out, something stupid.

 

[Vega]

I'm sorry to hear that such a great man made an impact on your life has died. That sucks, really hard. I know how it feels, tbh. Have at it like this, ishtar. You can't go, because you have your roommate to live for.. you have something, someone you need and can hold on to no matter what the cause. I do hope all goes well..

 

[Marshmallow]

Darling, i don't know what i can say, all i can is repeat what i said on the phone earlier. I know your worried that someone your close to will die soon. But try not to think like that, i know its hard. I really wish i could take your and her pain away. I know she's taken it very badly but you gotta stay strong for her aswell yourself. You know where i am sweetheart, please remember what i said on the phone.

Love ya,

Viks x

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

I am s sorry he died Hun, but maybe in the scheme of things it was meant to happen? Maybe we are all meant to wait until death finds us without bringing it on ourselves, either way I understand it is so so so hard to loose someone, ESPECIALLY to death. But he's at peace now and can rest, he made a great impression on you and I am sure so many others, he will never be gone, he will always be in your hearts, forever. He will live in you for all eternity. But it's perfectly fine to cry sweetheart. It is natural to cry, crying is something good actually, while you are doing it, it feels so awful, but afterwords you do feel a bit of releif... it's part of loving, grieving, venting, life, and etc.



If you need anything thing sweetie, just let me know. I am here for you, OK? But I won't message you, because you may need time, so if you need me message me, I am just gunna give you space to grieve sweetie, it's hard to know what's going on and how you feel and what to do when things like these happen, but let the grieving process go through Hun, you'll never be fully over any of it but at some time or another you will feel a bit better knowing that it's over he's loved and in peace but you will NEVER lose him. You will never lose anyone.




:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:





I love you sweetie :cheekkiss




--All my love,
Carolyn--