he's dead

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by underdosed, Jul 31, 2007.

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  1. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    one of my best guy friends from camp killed himself (at camp) last night. i saw him a week ago and he seemed fine. obviously he wasnt. when i went up there, we sat around the fire drinking and talking. i was talking alone with him and my best female friend from camp that i drove up with. we sort of had a thing last year when we were CITs (Counclers In Training) together. i loved him. im so sad. this makes me want to die so badly. i already miss him. i cant stop crying. im a wreck.
  2. see

    see Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your friend :hug:
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I can't pretend that I know how this would feel for you, I'm just sorry for you. Stay strong.
  4. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I am really sorry to hear about your friend. It must be real hard for you. Please try to be strong, I know its not easy. :hug:
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Again, I'm so sorry to hear about this, I can't even comprehend how you must be feeling at the moment, anytime you need an ear, you can PM me. Stay strong, hun. :arms:
  6. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    i wish i could die. i loved him. i cant imagine going back to camp and having him not there. i wish i was dead
  7. wizardjack

    wizardjack Member

    so your going to kill yourself to put your loved ones over the same trauma :mad:
  8. emsdallas

    emsdallas Member

    I am so sorry. I've lost an older brother(1989) and a guy friend(1980). Time will help---please do not hold your feelings in. Whether it be online forums like this or formal counseling, don't keep it bottled up inside you.

    Danny(guy friend--this was in the free casual era), the week before, we had spent a long weekend at a lake with some friends. It was a really awesome time. To this day, whenever I hear the song "Sailing' I can see Danny and Alan out on the water, gorgeous full moon. I wanted to actually date Danny, but fearing rejection, I wasn't brave enough to let him know that. I still wonder what might have changed IF I had crossed that line with him, instead of the random screwing around.

    My brother had been in a state mental hospital(paranoid schizophrenic) all of his adult life-I think he had a moment of clarity and decided that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life(42yrs old) locked up.

    I've been managing my depression forever(53yrs old). My problem is I don't want to live, just fed up with everyting, but I can't stand the thought of my father having to bury a third child(another brother-cancer 2004). I'm tired of my OB-GYN prescribing anti-depressants--I'm going to check what my insurance will cover. I've reached a point that I've got to do SOMETHING.

    FIND somebody to talk to, it does help. Keep talking, communicating, depending on your needs, there's lots of resources for different stages of need.

    Take care--give yourself time to grieve for your loss, that hole in your heart will get smaller--Mine are still there, they always will be, just smaller.

  9. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about ur friend. I've also lost a friend recentely to suicide, he took he's life on Christmas Eve...I understand ur pain, the feelings you are now feeling.

    Please take time to remember the good times you are ur friend had, and hold on to those memories.

    Hold on just for today. xx

    Lost xx
  10. life

    life Well-Known Member

    Hey i am sorry about ur friend...Fortunately in my country i dont hear such things like suicide cuz its a small country ...But hearing such things triggers me a lot..Like even when i read some people who attempts suicide or wants to attempt its like its triggering for me!...is it only me that feels this way..?
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