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He's gone... And now I want to be too...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Katichu, Dec 23, 2013.

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  1. Katichu

    Katichu Member

    I just found this website and I'm happy that I did... My friend just killed himself... And it was all my fault... He even said so himself... I tried to help... Honestly I did... But... He just wouldn't listen... He cut himself for the first time and it was too deep... He told me that I was leaving him alone after his family died. I didn't know all of his family were dead... And I would never leave anyone alone... Right now I just want to die... If all I'm doing is hurting people then what's the point? I'm bullied every day from people at school and my family don't seem to care about me... I got a boyfriend yesterday... But I can't talk to him about this... Not on the second day of our relationship... It hurts so much... Someone please... Help me... :needhelp:
  2. ronnymarie

    ronnymarie Guest

    Hon, your friend did not kill himself because of you, in spite of what he said. No one kills themselves because of one thing, it is a build up of many things. I suspect that he was already hurting very deeply inside because of things that had happened in his life (like his family), and he just lashed out at you because he was in so much pain.

    You need to find someone to talk you through this. You said you don’t think your family cares, but can you possibly reach out to them? I know that parents can seem uncaring when they are wrapped up in their own issues. But I’ve also found that most parents would give up their lives for their kids. If you can’t talk to them, then is there an aunt/family friend or school counselor you can talk to? Or if necessary, can you see a professional therapist to help you get through this?

    I’m so glad you found this site. Just hold on, and get whatever help it takes to work this out. It will get better, I promise.
  3. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum! You will find many caring people here.
    is there a counselor at your school to talk to? You are not responsible for your friend's suicide; it was unfair for him to blame you. He was just lashing out at the world and you happened to be there. Please talk to someone at school. Although this is a great forum, it doesn't substitute for someone in real life.
    If you can't find anyone in real life please keep posting. I care and feel bad that you are hurting. Please don't blame yourself. I can tell you are a good person.
  4. Katichu

    Katichu Member

    Thanks to both of you but school's out for the holidays. I have some friends that I could talk to but it's just so hard to grasp that he's gone. Especially since I'm not over the death of a friend from 6 years ago... I don't deal with these things well. But thank you so much for seeing this and trying to help it means a lot. Xx
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