He's gone - only for a month but in our situation that month is going to be so difficult. I've been getting better, I've been feeling like I have gained some control and now I'm petrified that things are you to turn back into what they used to be, everything i dont want it to be! We only spoke 11 minutes ago and it feels like an eternity. I feel safe when he's here - I know there is someone who understands and who knows me better than I know myself. Without him here I'm without a backbone and I'm living with limited air! Come home b*&(^ and we will start our lives again!