He's still out there...what is wrong with me???!!!

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by bluemummy09, Dec 14, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. bluemummy09

    bluemummy09 Member

    *takes a deep breath*

    When I was in primary school (age 8) I had a teacher who sexually abused me. I am so screwed up with it all. I was in denial, which was working so well *cough* not! *cough* but after I had a traumatic birth it all came out. I've been in hospitals for PTSD and PND so other people know about it now and I'm more used to talking a lil bit about it. One night I did some digging on the net to see what happened to him. I found a photo if him and fell apart, just from a dumb photo. A while later I found out he is still teaching And it's at a school in the same city as me.

    I feel soooo guilty. A few month ago I couldn't even start thinking about what happened without dissociating or trying to hurt myself. Now I am starting to slowly be able to talk about it but I feel so...angry, sick, freaked out, disgusted, guilty...at the fact that he is still teaching. My psychologist (who I'm about to finish with) has talked to me about reporting it but knows I am nowhere ready yet.

    I know that I can't report it yet, but I feel so bad about it, especially as I now have a lil girl. I feel like if it was anyone else I would scream at them :nunchuk:"what are you doing you have to tell the police about it he could be hurting other children like he hurt you!" No-one else I know feels this way, they all tell me not to think about it yet. But isn't it awful that I'm not protecting the other children that might be at risk?????

    I'd really appreciate anyone's advice (even if you want to :argh::noway::eek:h::no::nono:

    (I hope that's enough smilies to make my point!)
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww don't be so hard on yourself...your talking about going to the police which is good but you gotta take your time...its not your fault if he hurts other children, which he probably has, it's HIS fault, he's the bad one...and he will pay in due time...and who knows...when you do go to the police you might find out about the others he's abused and they might thank you for standing up... they might come forward and testify to make sure he NEVER hurts other children ever again...

    take your time and heal yourself :IrishDoll:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.