Hey all

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Hi guys, my name is Paul.
I'm a recent college graduate having trouble coping with reality. People around me have jobs, success, friends, girlfriends... hell, they are getting married, have proper careers. When I look at my life it's just so depressing, I cant get anything going.
And I'm aware of the fact I have nobody to blame but me - I've been wasting time in college, I have no skills, I see absolutely no reason someone should hire me.
So I live off my parents and feel terrible shame. And everyday I fear that the rest of my life will look like this, no career, no friends, no interests, no nothing.

Lately I've noticed that I started to rationalize suicide on some strange intelectual levels, designing scenarios in which it would be actually a reasonable thing to do. Like I'm trying to convince myself it's a valid option. It's very disturbing to me.
I feel I have no one I could tell this.

Just caught myself on the fact that this is the first time I actually wrote/said that to other human beings, not just incubate these thoughts in my head. Maybe it's a good thing.

Well, that was very chaotic, I feel. I'm not really good with introductions or "selling" my person to others.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Welcome to SF Paul i do hope you continue to reach out hun here and in reality world for help okay. Get out of that depression your in talk to your doctor okay get on meds etc so you can move forward okay hugs to you
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