Well im on this site for obvious reasons hoever the resons for me being here maybe be differnt from other people. I recently(well 5months ago) was dumped by my gf of 5 years. we lived together the whole thing. Things got bad whne i started drinking heavely and on the ani anziety meds i was on would come home and scare her. eventually after long enough time she had enough and left. I was devestated beyond words, i still am, recently she called me and needed a place to stay before she moved to Calgary so i obviously said yes, she stayed with me for 4 days, now she is gone. I am fealing so much pain and have been for so long that i can barley breath, i loved this girl more than i though possible, this is not just som break up story, im am seriously not able to find joy in life, i am VERY depressed, i have thought about ending it all before( i lived a..not fun life) but now im really , i dont want to say iminently considering but more like i cant go on living, i just want the pain to stop and it hasent. Im sure many of you have been through similar things but this is pretty bad, i am a,lone in the world and im not the player go to bars pic up chicks kinda guy( not anymore0 iv tried getting over it but i havent been able to. Her coming back for the last 4 days till this morning just brough back all the good memories.The way her hair smells, the way she smiles, her laugh..its so bad i just cant belive i may never see her agian and i dont want to continue on its to painfull. anyway thats my story maybe it sounds pathetic but it how it is, without her i dont want to live. hope to talk to you all soon and we can maybe all halp each other, get through our problems and somhow(and i dont know how) make it through this and continue on..somehow thanks for reading ttyl.