hey everybody

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Well im on this site for obvious reasons hoever the resons for me being here maybe be differnt from other people.
I recently(well 5months ago) was dumped by my gf of 5 years. we lived together the whole thing. Things got bad whne i started drinking heavely and on the ani anziety meds i was on would come home and scare her. eventually after long enough time she had enough and left.
I was devestated beyond words, i still am, recently she called me and needed a place to stay before she moved to Calgary so i obviously said yes, she stayed with me for 4 days, now she is gone.
I am fealing so much pain and have been for so long that i can barley breath, i loved this girl more than i though possible, this is not just som break up story, im am seriously not able to find joy in life, i am VERY depressed, i have thought about ending it all before( i lived a..not fun life) but now im really , i dont want to say iminently considering but more like i cant go on living, i just want the pain to stop and it hasent.
Im sure many of you have been through similar things but this is pretty bad, i am a,lone in the world and im not the player go to bars pic up chicks kinda guy( not anymore0 iv tried getting over it but i havent been able to. Her coming back for the last 4 days till this morning just brough back all the good memories.The way her hair smells, the way she smiles, her laugh..its so bad i just cant belive i may never see her agian and i dont want to continue on its to painfull. anyway thats my story maybe it sounds pathetic but it how it is, without her i dont want to live. hope to talk to you all soon and we can maybe all halp each other, get through our problems and somhow(and i dont know how) make it through this and continue on..somehow thanks for reading ttyl.


Well-Known Member

Just a couple of words....

Or maybe a lot - not sure yet - but hold on just in case!

Welcome buddy - hope your stay here helps you cope better in the coming days and that you get along with people here.

You can say who you are - I mean, you got the darkness, right? So have I - so has everyone!

Some are always doing better than others - but when you are down people here will give advice and help out.

Everyone is a 'newbie' at some point - but your here now and if you came alone then you already got friends!

Sure - love, woman - all that stuff - you meet the wrong women - things go wrong and you think you will never get your Mojo back again.

But you will!

Your a man - like men - and we might get knocked down sometimes - but we get back up again. Like sometimes I feel like shooting 10,000 arrows into my head - but I soon realise that its actually difficult to shoot yourself in the head that many times.

Anyway - here is a trick - if you feel like dying - envision some silly method such as stepping in front of a trolley in a supermarket - or drowning yourself in the rain - by standing with your head facing upwards!

The woman - your ex - don't EVER get 'moody' with her. She has her space now - her not wanting you might be the darkness you hid. Its how I operate - hit and run - you never chance leaving a piece of your soul for someone to mess about with possibly if it goes bad.

I mean - losing a woman can trigger depression - but maybe you already had it? If not - maybe she never helped because a good woman would hopefully leave you in a nice way. I mean - there is no 'nice' way to be told that some other man is now involved - but I hope you parted amicably and never cut the TV in half.

For now - you got to sort yourself out. For one - running into the arms of another girl is not always a good move. Number two - be like me and 'man up' to feeling down - ask yourself if a man needs to bring that issue into a good woman's life? I mean - I'd like to be more 'together' before I stroll into some woman's life for real. I'm lucky - because I've got no ex wife on my case - no ex with a grudge - maybe the odd women who even remembers my name - who might have thought I was an idiot.

I mean - she picked an idiot which would make her worse than me!

Joking aside - our main issue is to circle the camp of our mind - check out the 'enemy' of depression - and gang up on it - hit back by enjoying yourself. To enjoy yourself - just go to some cheap club - take alcohol - but not a lot. If I was with you - we'd be having a ball! You and I - laughing at this ex - and so on.

So - hope you like the levity in my post - the humour - because we have to laugh a bit when we can. Sure I have been heartbroken when I have lost a good woman. The last one - I lost her and it made me cry. She died in my arms!!! I mean - imagine how I felt and feel!

She died in my arms - or more like died in my hands as I strangled her for criticising my liking for crack cocaine after breakfast. Man - I had NO freedom there.

So - if you are laughing now - think about how much you will in future when you manage to get better.

So sure - hurts to lose a woman you love - but she was not 'the one' - that one will last longer than five years.

I'd like one to last more than five hours - I mean - time in total from meet to the kiss goodbye and the walk of honour for men - and walk of shame for woman! Only kidding girls.

So - I'll check up on how things go - add you to my friends list and maybe you'll accept - or maybe you will think "F*** me - will I end up like?"

I don't care if you laugh with me or laugh at me - in our situation its all a win.

Good luck my man - and I know for a natural fact that you will see joy in your life again. You might meet a girl called Joy - which would be interesting if only for you to say "I have Joy in my life"

Later for other amusing anecdotes.

Are we really on a suicide forum you ask.


Staff Alumni
I just met you in chat, and just thought I'd pop in here and give you a formal welcome.

Welcome, you're a fun person to talk to in chat! I know what I'm about to say is a lot to hope for, but I hope you get over your ex.

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