Hey Everyone...

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by shadowheart, Oct 6, 2008.

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  1. shadowheart

    shadowheart Well-Known Member

    Hey, on here im Shadowheart.
    Okay, so im only 18, so i guess i havnt rly had the chance to experience some of the stuff that other people here hav. but yeah.

    I hav attempted twice. When i was 12 i tried to cut femoral vein in my leg and was left with a loverly scar that goes half way around my leg. I bled a lot but was 'rescued' when i passes out. i also attempted to choke myslef with heavy duty cable-tie (some heavy duty plastic that when you tie up, it cant come undone) but once again was 'saved'.... :[

    I cut, and have burnt myself a few times. I also like to do home piercings, coz then i can feel the pain, but my family judges me less.
    I hav also done a home job of a tattoo on the back of my wrist and on one ankle.
    I hav also swapped between bulimia and annorexia sine i was 12.....
    So yeah, thats some stuff about me.

    I hate my life, last year my best friend died in my arms, because of me. And since then i hav felt nothing other than sorrow and guilt and an overwhelming desire to run and never stop untill i just fall asleep for ever....... I hate myself for what i did to him ( most people say it wasnt my fault, but i know it was....i didnt take care of him like i should hav )....and so im fairly adicted to cutting. I feel stressed and my hands shake untill i can see those thick lines of blood down my arms........

    My family loves me. but none of them understand how i feel so they all just fucking judge me and think i want attention and shit. i dunno. i hate them. i dont think i would mind if i never saw them again....all they can do it tell me how crap i am, and how i never live up to their expectations and how much better my brother is....and how they dont know what went wrong whenn their were raising me....fuck them....

    ...im sorry if this has lacked a lot of emotion.....but i thort it would be best to just let you know who i am a bit.....before i start unloading all my personal junk on you.......

    .....i really feel like this is an awful introduction into who i am.....but how can i put so many years of pain and emotion into words.......

    i dunno. hopefully this hasnt been too boring....and i dont sound like a self obsessed little cry baby with no real problems.....coz thats how i kinda feel after writing this......
  2. Pain&Sorrow

    Pain&Sorrow Well-Known Member

    Hey, welcome to SF. Hope your get the support you need here and don't forget to join us in chat, okay? i'll talk to ya on msn later.
  3. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    HI Shadowheart

    Welcome to SF. No judgment here. Hope you find the support you are looking for here. :hug:
  4. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    welcome :smile: :hug:
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Errow =3
    Welcome to sf!
    *glomps you*
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I hope you can find a place to feel at home with us. :hug:
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.
  8. shadowheart

    shadowheart Well-Known Member

    thanks heaps everyone :]
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum hun :hug:
  10. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

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