Hey everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I joined this forum a few weeks ago, because I was having some troubling thoughts and I wanted to assure I wasn't alone. I thought I had nobody. I felt that way until my friend called 911 because he thought I was going to kill myself. After being picked up by the police and received a psych evaluation at a hospital, they let me go. That night I'll never forget. I saw what it did to my family and friends-just the thought of me dying.
After going to what seemed like hell and back for a few weeks, bottles of liquor and numerous days laying face down on the floor, I decided that I couldn't leave this world just yet. There was so much I needed to accomplish. That's why I could never go through with suicide-because I knew I was put here for a reason. I also went back on my Lexapro. That helped a huge deal, considering I just randomly stopped taking it which was a huge factor in my depression. Yes, I did make some mistakes this past school year, but I'm alive. I've grown from those mistakes, and I will never let anything stand in my way again.
My advice to you is....the same shit everyone else here will tell you. Sorry that there is no big surprise. BUT...I can offer you the knowledge that I KNOW everyone was put here for a reason. You could find the cure for cancer, be the next big thing in the music/art world, or just be an average joe. You may think an average joe is the most insignificant-but it isn't. The world needs regular people as much as geniuses. This is because the standard of the norm needs to change. The world needs to change. This world needs open minded-free thinkers. "Average Joe" needs to become not-so-average. Do your part by just being the best person you can be. Love one another, treat others with respect-but be strong. Fight off those who impose on your free will. There is a saying "Majority is seldom right". BE the majority. Lets face it-the media, politics-it's all bullshit. The TV enslaves people. Be a free thinker. No matter how "deviant" or "weird" the thought may be-you represent a greater cause JUST by thinking for yourself. This is your purpose. Some of you think you don't belong in this world, some believe you can't fit in, and some think they just can't win. Pain is only temporary. If you can't find the will to live-YOU AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH. I have a saying-if what your doing isn't working: do the opposite. If you are laying in your room listening to music, feeling sorry for yourself and wanting to die-simply LEAVE. Just go, without a purpose-but with an open mind. Also-SEE A THERAPIST! I used to think they are a bunch of yuppies that sign you off with meds and take 300 bux from you. But look into it. Your problem might simply be chemical. Or even open up to SOMEBODY. There are plenty of people here that will help you because they know what it is like to be in your position.
TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT! Anything! Listen to different music, take up art, dancing, reading, working out, SOMETHING! Do something crazy! That's safe, of course. WHATEVER helps you-do it. There are so many things in the world that you can't pass by. Please, this world is full of stupid, smug, assholes who do nothing but feed on people's emotions. Murderers, rapists, thieves. Even just that stupid fuck, driving his BMW with his blue tooth earset, big sunglasses and polo shirt who is on his way back from cheating on his wife at the office. Don't be these people! As I said before, BE the majority! These are the people who make your life hell. Fight them. Fight them with your free mind.
You may see the name aPerfect_parabol around someday. If you do, please keep my secrets. I'll check back every so often to do what I can for people in need. But please-hold on. You will try, you will fail. You NEED to fail to learn from your mistakes. It's all about Yin and Yang-perfect balance.

How do you know that life isn't worth living if you haven't experienced it to the fullest?

take care all
 
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