Hey Everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by babyangel4jc247, Dec 11, 2011.

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  1. babyangel4jc247

    babyangel4jc247 New Member

    Hey Everyone,
    I would like to tell you all my story...Well I am 19 years old and I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for many years. I find it hard to get out of bed. Just recently in the past two years I have dropped out of high school, lost two very close people both are grandparents, and I have attempted suicide a few times. I am a very stressed out person. I work harder than I need to at things and that overwhelms me. I find my self running away from issues instead of facing them but it happens mainly when I get overwhelmed. I have a hard time communicating with anyone even the closes people in my life. I have tried many times of therapy they don't always work. I love art and I am very creative I run to that alot but even that doesn't work all the time. I have a hard time expressing how I feel when I try I get frustrated cause it comes out wrong no matter how hard I try to break it down and think about it. It has caused a huge issue between me and the one I hold dearest to my heart. I know we love each other and we are right for each other but if I don't get a handle on myself and my life its going to cause some horrible repercussions. I feel like I am spinning out of control. I have been on medicine before but it caused me to gain pretty much enough weight for two of me. I have been locked up after one attempt but one no one knows about that had happened before the last one. I have had therapist but I have never found one I connect with the all feel very generic and uncaring. Now I have no way to get help. I don't live with family so I have no insurance. I lost my medicaid. I am feeling like I am gonna loose the battle I have been going through since before I could remember. I tell you all this but still having issues telling you what I have already said. I just recently lost a friend to suicide and it has scared me but I still think about it. I see it in my mind sometimes like how I could do it. When I am stressed I hear life would be better for everyone. It scares me I don't like it. This year I went back to High School which is the hardest thing I could ever do. I am trying so freaking hard. Not to mention how hard it is to be a 19 year old Junior in a school were you know no one. I came to this forum so maybe I can talk this through and learn to work this out since I cant get help and the issue is I need to learn to talk. So please bear with me. This is hard as I am sure I ain't alone in this.
    Thanks Everyone
    Babyangel
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    HI BabyAngel...welcome...for someone who has problems communicating, you did so well...I am so glad you decided to post and let us know what is going on...and yes, many people experiene what you have spoken about, so you are clearly not alone...welcome again and I hope you find the caring and understanding you are seeking here
     
  3. BeingMe

    BeingMe Well-Known Member

    Hi babyangel i can relate to what you say so you're definitely not alone, hopefully you coming here will help you greatly as it has for me. Good luck and hope to hear from you soon.

    :hug:
     
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi babyangel.. welcome to SF's.. hope you can maintain and finish high school this time.. perhaps that will open some new and good doors for the future.. take care, Jim
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi babyangel!! Welcome to the forums!! I'm glad to hear your back in school.. I'm 54 and never went back.. So I have to lie about it..It's not something I am proud of..Take Care and hope to see you around..,.
     
  6. babyangel4jc247

    babyangel4jc247 New Member

    Thanks guys I am already feeling a little better. Just trying to keep my head high during a hard time...Today I'll be doing something I have loved for three years it is called Winter Guard it is dance, flag, rifle, and sabre spinning/tossing. My old coach got ahold of me and found out whats been going on and she wanted to give me something constructive to do...but I can't help thinking I haven't done it in a LONG time so I am nervous and I am worried at how bad I'll be. I don't want to let anyone down...And something that is helping me communicate on here is that I know you guys are listening and I am anonymous...When I am ready I'll reveal more about myself...Thanks guys again
    Babyangel

    ---------- Post added at 12:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:04 PM ----------

    Thanks guys I am already feeling a little better. Just trying to keep my head high during a hard time...Today I'll be doing something I have loved for three years it is called Winter Guard it is dance, flag, rifle, and sabre spinning/tossing. My old coach got ahold of me and found out whats been going on and she wanted to give me something constructive to do...but I can't help thinking I haven't done it in a LONG time so I am nervous and I am worried at how bad I'll be. I don't want to let anyone down...And something that is helping me communicate on here is that I know you guys are listening and I am anonymous...When I am ready I'll reveal more about myself...Thanks guys again
    Babyangel
     
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