Heya guys. before i start ranting just wanted to say good job on the site..im sure this helps so many people with thier problems. I found this site because i feel my life is going backwards. i had a shit few years wich started when i left school at 16. im 19 now, 20 in august. we dont know when my depression started but i think it was around 17th cause of some stuff that happened. past year has been amazing for me, i found some great friends, what i thought was a good job and actually got out the house more than once every three months. Before i found the job i used to play a online rpg game wich i think i became slightly dependant on, used to just delve in on it and forget about EVERYthing it was great, but not healthy considering how much i played it. I went from depending on this game, to devoting all my time to my job, it was my friends who alerted me to this. i was doing around 70-80 hour weeks in a kitchen from not working a day in my life. it was my friends and family who i feel very lucky to have right now who told me that they think its unhealthy what i was doing, i started to realise this as i was not going out anymore and was a total wreck whenever i wasnt at work. Anyway more to the point..now i left that kitchen job and am working on a bar. i love the social side of it but im not the most confident person and i make mistakes wich i am really concious of and hard on my self also. I tried to kill my self 2 times a few years ago (i have no sense of time) and still self harm even to this day..admitidly not as bad as i did once before but its still not healthy and i know it. i dunno why i do it. anyway now i quit this job, im only doing about 35-40 hours a week. the hours are quite hard getting out of work late most nights. with all this free time i feel myself slipping back into my old ways. i dont have the drive for work, keep thinking whats the point? i was sitting at my pc tonight with my bottle of jd and a cocktail of pills thinking what to do. advice plz k Sorry for my rant..