hi
I'm 23, guy, live in Canada
dunno about forums, the last one i was at the moderator killed herself and everyone left
but ithink i need something to look forward to anyhow
but i feel like i just can't do this anymore
I mean i feel tired all the time and i live alone in alittle room on assistance
i see my doctor maybe once or twice a month if im lucky
ive been screwed up since i 14 when i was anorexic and spent about two years in the hospital and its really been just...hard
i was always over anxious and super sensitive and just strange and i learned last year that its all been Boderline personality disorder all along(!?)((the quiet kind)), all these 'problems'
so now im waiting around for some group for over a year now and the whole world just seems greyer and greyer
and i dont really have any friends, im very bad at that, i seem to alienate everyone i meet anyhow (shrugs)
and i started cutting last year off and on and getting high as often as i could because i just couldnt handle all the hopelessness
and disasociation ( which was really bad...i felt like i was seriously losing it...more so)
and well this summer has been real hard due to some things and i just feel ...sorry to be dramatic or whatever:wink:
but kind of devastated...like ive given all i have , just totally used up & useless
i feel like alien
so i think more and more about hurting myself or plain old clocking out
but im too scared and im sleeping funny now, all these bad dreams
god i could go on & on here,
just one shitty thing after another
I'm 23, guy, live in Canada
dunno about forums, the last one i was at the moderator killed herself and everyone left
but ithink i need something to look forward to anyhow
but i feel like i just can't do this anymore
I mean i feel tired all the time and i live alone in alittle room on assistance
i see my doctor maybe once or twice a month if im lucky
ive been screwed up since i 14 when i was anorexic and spent about two years in the hospital and its really been just...hard
i was always over anxious and super sensitive and just strange and i learned last year that its all been Boderline personality disorder all along(!?)((the quiet kind)), all these 'problems'
so now im waiting around for some group for over a year now and the whole world just seems greyer and greyer
and i dont really have any friends, im very bad at that, i seem to alienate everyone i meet anyhow (shrugs)
and i started cutting last year off and on and getting high as often as i could because i just couldnt handle all the hopelessness
and disasociation ( which was really bad...i felt like i was seriously losing it...more so)
and well this summer has been real hard due to some things and i just feel ...sorry to be dramatic or whatever:wink:
but kind of devastated...like ive given all i have , just totally used up & useless
i feel like alien
so i think more and more about hurting myself or plain old clocking out
but im too scared and im sleeping funny now, all these bad dreams
god i could go on & on here,
just one shitty thing after another
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