Hey I'm just returning after a long hiatus and am just looking for people to talk to. Since I left the forums the last time I did have a serious suicide attempt and a long (and unpleasant) stay at the hospital. I'm still struggling with my depression and it seems like I have tried every medication on the planet. I also started doing ECT about a month or so ago and have seen little positive effect from it. But after the suicide attempt I got in touch with a really great therapist that I'm really comfortable with. So I'm still suicidal but I feel that I have someone that I can really be honest about. Also since the last time I was here I came out to my family, my psychiatrist, my therapist, and other caregivers that I may be transgender and that I feel more female than male and that me hiding all these feelings might have been causing some of my depression symptoms. But I don't know yet. In a few days I'm going to talk to a therapist that deals exclusively with gender issues and hopefully I can get some things figured out. So I just wanted to come back on here and maybe find some friends or at least people I can talk to when I feel I can't talk to any one else.