hey im new so here's my situation

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scottish125, Apr 2, 2007.

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  1. scottish125

    scottish125 Member

    I'm suicidal, depressed and don't have very many people to turn to.
    I recently lost my best friend and the girl i am in love with (didn't lose them by death... my best friend was a dick and stabbed me in the back with the girl)

    i often relayed on her to talk to me and she often helped but she decided she doesn't want to be my friend anymore so.. i lost that. its a really long story but i hate it that shes friends with my old best friend and not with me... kinda makes me feel like I'm not as good as him..

    so now i can't do anything that we used to do strictly because i am reminded of her. (we loved each other but i was IN love with her.) shes by far my biggest mistake.

    shes hurt me for the past 6 months, shes selfish and always gets what she wants.. same with my old best friend...

    anyways, a lot went down so now, out of hate, i want to kill myself. i just would like her to be hurt and i would absolutely love to have her feel guilty the rest of her life.

    basically, the only thing keeping me alive is my parents. i don't feel that they deserve to lose their son

    BUT... i know there will come a time where i will want to hurt this girl so bad that i will do it. its kinda odd i guess.. i normally don't think anyone deserves to lose someone but for some reason i think she is in dyer need of some suffering.

    does anyone else feel the same way in regards to the hate factor? i'm open to chat and what not... if you have read this whole thing, thanks!! ha i tried to keep it short.

  2. MrDepressed

    MrDepressed Guest

    I have always found situations like this to be very difficult and triggering... I can understand your anger and desire to make someone else suffer for it, I think that is a normal reaction, but I sure hope that you do not do anything other than positive stuff... I say be nice to hear and treat her well, not pressure like but when the opportunity presenets itself, in this way it will be like heaping burning coals on her head, she will one day realize she lost a treasure chest of gems and not just A gem, I think that is the worst form of suffering.. good luck with finding the peace you need.
  3. scottish125

    scottish125 Member

    wow... i've talked to a lot of people and this answer is by far the most helpful one... I feel that whenever people say other things it only makes it worse for me.. thank you very much for your reply!
  4. TwilightKid

    TwilightKid Well-Known Member

    Hey i dont really think u are worse than ur friend or something, but i think ur ex has some serious problems with herself coz u wrote she is selfish and stuff. I dont think she will be friends with ur old friend for a long time. And i think the best thing u can do to make her feel bad is to find another girl and when ur ex sees u are doing okay and just fine without her, she will feel very very bad. And please dont act on an impulse, nothing is wronger than that. I acted on an impulse once and nearly OD-d but now i know it was just so so stupid! Now I can just laugh at the reason for which i nearly killed myself! Its too funny to even talk about, lol!
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