hey there it my first time

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by chloe123, Sep 26, 2009.

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  1. chloe123

    chloe123 Account Closed

    I hope I don’t go through that again and I don’t like what gang raped do to anyone and I hope I can get over it soon my husband will help me thought it and my counsellor and they always help me get over it but I am trying my hard to help someone else but I don’t know that is going because it is hard for this person to not to do it again. Some man can stop them doing that to me and some lady can stop men to do that to them if they have there mind to it I hope I can do that again and hope that the can help me through it again but they did help me when my dad did that to me and the 5 guys as well. I have see them again and I haven’t to anyone yet because they might fine me yet they are asking someone about me I hope they don’t fine me. The sexual abuse shouldn’t allow do that to anyone at all or children to they don’t like it at all and I hope they don’t fine me and husband won’t let them near me so I hope they stayed away from and other. Some people don’t have to do that and I sure that I won’t have to put with any more and other people the victim don’t wanted the sexual contact anymore so why do we have to put up with it if we are female and male we all don’t have to put up with the abuse any more and I hope we don’t have to it is not fare on us all and children as well they don’t have to put up with at all so why do they have I been there and my husband been there to and we don’t let any one people near them at all and so they don’t have to go through like we have and it is not nice to do that to children. It can be confused for everyone and the children as well and my husband think year ago that might be gay but he turn and said that he loves women only not male he didn’t wanted to be gay at all I am glad that he found me and we been together year and 4month together and we are happy together and we all always on our computer and lap top computer as well I am here in there with my lap top computer and my husband is with me with his lap top computer and he always fix all the computers and lap top computer. I do think it hard to do with it. It is find it difficult to admit that has happen to a lot of people I know and I hope it doesn’t get any worse. Sorry things are so bad right now I hope it get better and I’m glad you decided not to self harming anymore. If it will help you through this together and I hope you forgive me for helping you through this together it take time to get over it and I am here to help you okay for all the children’s and your children’s wanted you to stay safe for them as well and for me as well to husband. I do trust you but if you haven’t got any razor blades I wanted you to be safe for all us here and your children’s as well I do trust you for ever and I hope you don’t get mad at me for this ok husband. I love you very much I don’t wanted to lose you ok husband. I am worry about something again but I am going to keep it away from my husband because it is father dad tomorrow and I know that his children’s won’t be over here but one will that malcom will be but I can’t say it if it is true about it and my children’s will be here to say happy father day to him and I will say it in the morning and I will say this to him as well that I love you to much to him hurt self anymore it and I hope he hasn’t got anything but I know he is hurting now because he is looking upset now and I can tell that he is because I know that he is down now and I hope he doesn’t do any silly thing that he might go to the hospital and I make sure that he get help thought this together and I hope he is not mad at me for this and he is worry about something that he won’t tell because I will ring someone up to get some help for him and he doesn’t like that I idea. I would be ok if I don’t talk about my pass and the life I had year ago but I hope no one blame me for what has happen to me. Between me and my father since he thought that I was his little girl and that what he done to me was fine to do what he done with me and I wasn’t allowed to tell my own family about him having sex with me plus he used to put us on the road or either locked up in a cupboard and I will never do that to my kids at all. As I only put my kids in there room for 5mins or more if needed but I then in there room if they are naughty and if they ask me what time they get but since it is time out for them I won’t say anything to them and that they will come when I say they can come when I say they can come out of there room sometime it will work and sometimes it won’t work on as I have a handicap child and he is my second oldest son as I have three kids of my own and I have to work on the two kids mainly and it’s hard with having the handicap son as he hasn’t learned why he is being punished by sending him to his room as he keeps yelling and screaming and banging his door or tried to break things when he gets punished and he can be very demanding at times and I hope we can get through this all together and so it not as hard to deal with and I hope to fine out if the handicap one also has PDD and ODD and CD so we can find ways to better handle his behaviour and deal with him allot better and if the diagnosis is correct the doctor might have something that may help him to settle down and get back on track in his mind since he will attack my 5 year old and bash her in the head and he will blame her for him having to hit her or he will break any of his own toys I get for him and even break my other children’s toys or he’ll break any thing he can get his hands on and that breakable and he is at the age of 9 year old and he goes to a special school and they don’t seem to be that helpful in helping us deal with him. I went see my counsellor last year and he was looking at me up and down all the time I was there and I was so scared And I thought he might try something on me but I didn't stay there for long to talk to him for long and he said that It was my fault for what happen in my life and I can't trust any male counsellor again and I hope I never see him Again and I am see a female counsellor and she said that he is wrong for saying that to me. So I was so scared of Him I know when male counsellor wants something out me and I left the room and I hope I don't have to see him again. That why I stay away from male counsellor because they look up and down at me. I hope not get one anyway and I hope I get a female counsellor and that what I love to have a female counsellor to help me thought it and they don't Blame me for it and I like to see husband go through and they help him all the time he goes there and I like to see A female. I hope my husband doesn't get at me because what a counsellor to talk to and it has and female there and It will be good to talk to there but no male never me I was talking to dawn there at the front yesterday and it help Me get some thing that I need to say out and I hope someone willing to help me through it she is good to help me and I hope there is someone like her there. I was stress I out yesterday and I didn't tell my husband about it.

  2. Mandyrose

    Mandyrose Member

    You sound very upset. I had a difficult time understanding what you were saying, because you seemed so upset! I wish you would post again when you have calmed down a little. I do want to say that if someone is hurting you or someone you love, please call the police. You deserve to feel safe and get the help you need.

    I hope you feel better :)
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