i must be weak.....i already seeked help but it wasn't enough....i was fine until the other day when this horrible urge returned. I find it hard to open up to anyone one....ironically its easy behind a computer. I suffered this urge on and off for years now. i want to know why suicide isn't the answer. In my case....it seems to be the only way, but i might be ignorant of my situation. I am in constant pain be it emotional or back pains or a combination. I am out of breath on my way to classes. when people ask me how i am, i lie and say im well. I don't feel like getting out of bed. the concept of going to school nearly nots my stomach. I feel worthless....i can't enjoy life as much as i used to anymore. i am shy and quiet. i lost most interest in things. this isn't the first time, i suffered less severe urges years ago but put off suicide for later to see if high school was the best years of my life. So far(softmore year) its worse and made my pain return and come back worse..... and sorry if i bring you down with that....i don't wanna lower you into the abyss im in i just want this horrible urge to go away forever, if possible.