Discussion in 'Welcome' started by désespoir, Oct 17, 2012.

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  1. désespoir

    désespoir New Member

    Hey, I'm sixteen now and bullied in school since I was 12. I even changed school a year ago, but I didn't really help (The bullying goes on at me at new school. I also have horrible nightmares from what happened at the old one). Now I feel so down and empty, I just need somebody or somewhere to turn to. I'm visiting a psychotherapist once a week, but yet it didn't really help. He knows my parents and my sister, that's why I feel like I can't talk openly about everything that I've been through and what's still going on. My mother has depression and I don't want to make the whole situation worse :sad:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Bullying can affect you in many ways. You may lose sleep or feel sick. You may want to skip school. You may even be thinking about suicide. If you are feeling hopeless or helpless or know someone that is, please call theLIFELINE at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Just a link it might help you hun

    Hi hun depression runs in the family i do hope youa re open with your psychotherapist ok just let him or her know everything is confidential Just know hun soon you will be off to college and away from all the hurtful people hun and making a life of your own don't let them win ok hun. you keep talking here we are listening hugs
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2012
  3. désespoir

    désespoir New Member

    Thank you for your kind words. I'm not from the US or anywhere near (I live in Northern Germany), so I guess I'd have to call someone else. Anyway, I'm not good when talking on the phone. I suck at talking anyway, that's why I try to get help online.

    I guess I will try to talk more openly to my psychotherapist next Wednesday, but it's just so difficult, because I usually try to smile and hide how hurt I actually am. It took 2 years of bullying before I even allowed myself to admit that it hurt and almost another year before I changed school. Some moths ago was the first time I ever told my parents at last partly about what was going on (before they had only guessed).

    And what you said about bullying, you're completely right. I never skipped school, but I always came and still come pretty close to it. I lost my appetite and my grades got bad.
    I have a really low self-esteem and one mean insult towards me ruins my whole day and night. I still have 3 years of school left and I fear that I won't be able do face it.
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi and welcome.. getting to really talking to a professional psych person can be very hard.. maybe first tell them some of your negitive feelings and thoughts on really opening up to them.. in the meantime i hope this website and the members can make it so you are not all alone sometimes.. lots of good caring people on here.. we got no cross to bear and stuff to fix.. we just want to make a few friends on here.. i hope that happens for you also..

    glad to have you here with us now desespoir.. Jim
  5. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Your post hit me so hard. I know exactly what you're goin through. I was bullied since kindergarten and even now at work (and when I was in college) I'm still bullied. Because of that my self-esteem is nearly non-existant and I'm constantly having to remind myself that I am worth it. I know my eating went down, my grades went down, and I got to the point that I not only hated school but didn't care about it anymore.

    I wanted to say that it is hard, I'm not going to lie and say that bullying doesn't hurt because it does. Words hurt so much worse then an actual punch. But at the same time I do stand here and say that despite my faults, despite the scars on my heart and soul that bullying left (and will leave no matter how old you get) it is possible to survive!

    If you ever need to talk to me, I'm always here to lend an ear and shoulder. Even if it's just a moment to scream about what happened to you that day that hurt you.

    Also whatever you tell your therapist he canNOT tell anyone else. If he does he can get in serious trouble. It's hard to talk to them, to stop the smiling that you learn to do to protect yourself. But even just a simple word will help start the conversation. Just a simple word of 'bullying' can help start the cycle, then he can get the right facts out. And be able to help.
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