Hey, I'm Prodigal,
I've been looking for a place something to this effect for a while, because I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I apologize in advance if I do post triggers within this, I'm not sure what could really be counted or not, but please feel free to edit/delete this post if there are any. Just for a bit of back-story, because hey its an introduction, I decided to write this.
I've been depressed for basically my entire life (Literally, I can't remember a time when I didn't have the desire to want to end my existence), and have developed many social issues from constant feelings of depression. When I was around eight my mom had an onset of a genetic disease (Can't wait until it hits me!) leaving her at a very low functioning level. My dad is the sole person employed in my house hold, and he is almost never home, but I can't say that its a bad thing. My mom frequently yells at me for the slightest thing, and my dad began to hate me for whatever reason (Probably a good one). My dad and I have not said more than five words to each other during the past month, and my mom won't stop talking about how much of a liar I am, or how stupid I am. The only thing I really do value in my life is my intelligence, and I consider myself pretty smart. I've grown pretty self-conscience about it, and now most people I know hurl an insult about how stupid I am anytime they feel like it. I've survived two suicide attempts, and unfortunately those are the only times anything has ever gotten better. But its almost been a year since the most recent one, which I was hospitalized for a week because of, and everyone seems to have forgotten entirely about it. I'm not sure if I really have the strength to go on anymore, I find no joy in life outside of my computer. My parents know this and figured the way to show me how beautiful life is was to limit it so much because clearly the one thing that makes me happy, is the source of all my problems. I have very little friends, almost everyone at my school (including some teachers) bully me for sport. I've gotten to the point sometimes that I just want to kill myself in front of them, just so that they can feel horrible.
Knowing this, a doctor recently tried to change one of my medications, but my mom argued her out of it, and into just restricting my computer even more than before. I have very lofty goals in life, most of which I will not achieve. I'm sick of my parents warranting their abuse on the reason that they are trying to help me achieve my goals, and being a minor I foresee only 3 more years of this torture before I can finally cut ties with them forever. I really need a place I can just go and dump this all on, because I don't have any other outlets at the moment. I'm so afraid of what I might do to myself, I just want someone to be there for me.
-Prodigal
I've been looking for a place something to this effect for a while, because I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I apologize in advance if I do post triggers within this, I'm not sure what could really be counted or not, but please feel free to edit/delete this post if there are any. Just for a bit of back-story, because hey its an introduction, I decided to write this.
I've been depressed for basically my entire life (Literally, I can't remember a time when I didn't have the desire to want to end my existence), and have developed many social issues from constant feelings of depression. When I was around eight my mom had an onset of a genetic disease (Can't wait until it hits me!) leaving her at a very low functioning level. My dad is the sole person employed in my house hold, and he is almost never home, but I can't say that its a bad thing. My mom frequently yells at me for the slightest thing, and my dad began to hate me for whatever reason (Probably a good one). My dad and I have not said more than five words to each other during the past month, and my mom won't stop talking about how much of a liar I am, or how stupid I am. The only thing I really do value in my life is my intelligence, and I consider myself pretty smart. I've grown pretty self-conscience about it, and now most people I know hurl an insult about how stupid I am anytime they feel like it. I've survived two suicide attempts, and unfortunately those are the only times anything has ever gotten better. But its almost been a year since the most recent one, which I was hospitalized for a week because of, and everyone seems to have forgotten entirely about it. I'm not sure if I really have the strength to go on anymore, I find no joy in life outside of my computer. My parents know this and figured the way to show me how beautiful life is was to limit it so much because clearly the one thing that makes me happy, is the source of all my problems. I have very little friends, almost everyone at my school (including some teachers) bully me for sport. I've gotten to the point sometimes that I just want to kill myself in front of them, just so that they can feel horrible.
Knowing this, a doctor recently tried to change one of my medications, but my mom argued her out of it, and into just restricting my computer even more than before. I have very lofty goals in life, most of which I will not achieve. I'm sick of my parents warranting their abuse on the reason that they are trying to help me achieve my goals, and being a minor I foresee only 3 more years of this torture before I can finally cut ties with them forever. I really need a place I can just go and dump this all on, because I don't have any other outlets at the moment. I'm so afraid of what I might do to myself, I just want someone to be there for me.
-Prodigal