Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Prodigal, Nov 7, 2012.

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  1. Prodigal

    Prodigal New Member

    Hey, I'm Prodigal,

    I've been looking for a place something to this effect for a while, because I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I apologize in advance if I do post triggers within this, I'm not sure what could really be counted or not, but please feel free to edit/delete this post if there are any. Just for a bit of back-story, because hey its an introduction, I decided to write this.

    I've been depressed for basically my entire life (Literally, I can't remember a time when I didn't have the desire to want to end my existence), and have developed many social issues from constant feelings of depression. When I was around eight my mom had an onset of a genetic disease (Can't wait until it hits me!) leaving her at a very low functioning level. My dad is the sole person employed in my house hold, and he is almost never home, but I can't say that its a bad thing. My mom frequently yells at me for the slightest thing, and my dad began to hate me for whatever reason (Probably a good one). My dad and I have not said more than five words to each other during the past month, and my mom won't stop talking about how much of a liar I am, or how stupid I am. The only thing I really do value in my life is my intelligence, and I consider myself pretty smart. I've grown pretty self-conscience about it, and now most people I know hurl an insult about how stupid I am anytime they feel like it. I've survived two suicide attempts, and unfortunately those are the only times anything has ever gotten better. But its almost been a year since the most recent one, which I was hospitalized for a week because of, and everyone seems to have forgotten entirely about it. I'm not sure if I really have the strength to go on anymore, I find no joy in life outside of my computer. My parents know this and figured the way to show me how beautiful life is was to limit it so much because clearly the one thing that makes me happy, is the source of all my problems. I have very little friends, almost everyone at my school (including some teachers) bully me for sport. I've gotten to the point sometimes that I just want to kill myself in front of them, just so that they can feel horrible.

    Knowing this, a doctor recently tried to change one of my medications, but my mom argued her out of it, and into just restricting my computer even more than before. I have very lofty goals in life, most of which I will not achieve. I'm sick of my parents warranting their abuse on the reason that they are trying to help me achieve my goals, and being a minor I foresee only 3 more years of this torture before I can finally cut ties with them forever. I really need a place I can just go and dump this all on, because I don't have any other outlets at the moment. I'm so afraid of what I might do to myself, I just want someone to be there for me.

  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry things have been difficult for you. If you want a place t come and talk or rant this it - we are always willing to listen. We also have been through many of the same sort of things you describe and are happy to offer help and support when we can as well, so if you ever want want advice to go along with a person to listen please let us know.

    Take Care and Be Safe

  3. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    Hi Prodigal lovely :hug: It sounds like it hasn't been easy for you honey :hug: Welcome to SF, please don't hesitate to message me or pop into chat for support :hug:
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi Prodigal and warm welcome to you now.. my parents like yours some.. also have fought crippling depression forever.. i know hon cause i have been there.. we will not call you names , judge you or put you donw on here.. is ok to just be the real you on here.. we will listen and try to help you some.. that is waht this place is all about.. tc, Jim
  5. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Yes, ditto to all the above...... hope you do come back and help us get to know you some more, and that you do find support here. I am very sorry for the verbal abuse from everyone, and can understand why you are looking forward to making a real fresh start :)
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi hun welcome you to SF hugs to you
  7. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the SF comminunity Prodigal i hope that you can find the support u need here theres lots to offer , many forums and also chat :)

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