Hey,

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by J__Doe17, Apr 19, 2013.

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  1. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    I'm a 14 year old who hates life. I don't see why I was born. I was just a mistake. Hopefully I will be put out of my misery soon
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Talk to us hun what is happening ok I hope you talk to a teacher or councilor at your school hun talk to a kids line so you know you are not alone hun hugs
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Why do you feel that you need to end your life? What is causing you to feel this way? Please stay and talk to us, or anyone really, and let the pain out.
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I am glad you found this community. I too want to hear about whats happening, why you are feeling this way. Believe me, you can be honest here. Its a very safe place
     
  5. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    I try to do everything right. Get good grades, son't get detension, do all my chores. And I do and more but no matter what I do I always end up screwing up so badly that it effects other people's lives in a negative way and I can't...I just can't keep living knowing that with each major screw up I make is costing someone. I can't take it. I can't live. I don't deserve to. And ontop of that there has always been the bulling that has been constantly there. I was even homeschooled for three years once because it got so bad! And I'm not fat, I'm not exactly ugly. I just be myself and everywhere I go there seems to be a problem with me doing that. What did I do wrong? What did I do to them to make them hate me so much that they write "Kill yourself you stupid bitch" on my locker where everyone can see?!? This one guy who's in my class, one day in gym I accidently hit him with the basket ball and he turned around and basically growled "Do that again and I'll kill you" Well you know what? I'm saving you the trouble of having to do that. I just want out of this...this hell hole.
     
  6. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    I haven't old anybody that I've been looking at ways to better attempt suicide. Not my family, none of my friends. They don't know what's goign on. And I don't want them to. Then they'll become all watchy and then I'll just want to escape even more badly. I've only told one person who I know won't go all watchy on me. He tried talking me out of it when I first told him. He was the one who rescued me the first time I tried to kill myself when I was 13. I had been trying to overdose but He kicked open my door before I could open the bottle. He's the only one who knows about this. Somedays I hate him for rescuing me. Sometimes I wish he would've forgotten about it. But he hasn't and now that I told him I'm planning to try again; I fear that he'll be there again. I don't want him to rescue me. Not this time. This time I'm going to make sure he doesn't keep me alive. He doesn't realize that by keeping me alive; I fee; more and more dead with each passing day. Why can't I be dead for real? No one will miss me, future screw ups won't happen. The world would've been a better place if I hadn't been born
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You need to talk to someone hun. When you are feeling this way your judgment becomes clouded and decisions made that cannot be undone. You deserve to feel better and you can with the right kind of support.
     
  8. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    My judgment's clear, and I want this decision to be perminant
     
  9. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    May I ask a philosophical question at this point - indulge me if you will...

    What do you hope to achieve by committing suicide?
     
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    what did you do wrong? Nothing. nothing at all. Darkness does not like light. But eventually light always wins out. Do not let the bullies win. dont let them steal your life. Thats my opinion. I know its horrible to be treated like that. It steals people bit by bit. But I want to let you know that taking your life says that darkness won over light. You are light. You always will be light. I want you to fight for your life. Because we need all the light we can get. Including yours. But getting though this usually takes teamwork. Someone irl who is on your side. Who is on the side of light. Someone who can hold out their hand, if you know what i mean. you deserve that. AND we deserve to have you here in this community !!! So I want you to stay alive. I want you to be here. Please
     
  11. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I want you to hang around too. So call a crisis line, talk to a teacher or councillor at school. Get someone you feel safe with that can help. Our judgment is clouded and not to be trusted when we're depressed. We can't see it at the time only as we feel better.
     
  12. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    I have no light left in me. It's already died. And I'm ready to go die with it. Darkness always wins. It doesn't amtter how you fight it. Darkness will chew you up and spit out an empy body without any light or without feeling a soul. that's what the darkness has done to me. No light is left. I'm comsumed by the darkness that killed my soul
     
  13. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Is there someone you can talk about how your feeling?
     
  14. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Welcome so SF, hope you find what you need here.

    Take Care

    Rich
     
  15. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    Yeah me too
     
  16. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    When things were at their worst for me ( and that was not a short period of time) I felt like the dark won. I felt like an old lady. and i was not even 30 at the time. It was like there was no spark of me. It had left. I dont know what can happen for anyone else. But for me, the darkness may have won the round. But it didnt win the match. It didnt win overall. Even though at the time it did feel like it had won it all. I hope that helps a little bit
     
  17. J__Doe17

    J__Doe17 Member

    A little ya
     
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