Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Smalls, Jun 27, 2014.

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  1. Smalls

    Smalls New Member

    My name is Ivy.

    I'm barely 15 years old (only a few weeks shy). I know I'm younger than most, but I guess it's good that I found this site so soon.

    The whole, detailed spiel on why I'm here will be saved for the other thread, but for now, I want to reach out to people who can understand my loneliness and sadness.

    This isn't to say that my depression stems from being a loner in high school. On the contrary, I could be considered popular. But that makes it all the worse. Because even with the circle of friends I do have, I can't talk to them about how I feel as they won't understand. These are honors kids whose parents are college-educated and wealthy enough to care about them everyday without resorting to verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. These are kids whose biggest problem right now is whether this player of a guy will finally ask them out. With all of this, I always put up a facade around them, and whenever I let out a little tidbit, it goes unnoticed. People have this certain perception of me, and I don't want to ruin it.

    And lately, especially in the summers, I don't have their problems to distract me from my own, and the abuse just gets worse and worse. It hit its climax a few days ago, and the ideas of how I want to die just keep pouring in more than usual. I had these thoughts for years, but it never got this bad. I keep imagining ways to die, and for a while back, I had a bout of self-harm, but I stopped when PE started and I had to change in the locker room. I don't really enjoy living anymore. I gave up on things I loved. I try to imagine myself in a different life just so I can get through the day. I swallowed books whole just to live the life of the characters. But I think now I realize that I need to stop pushing off the inevitable and handling this alone. I hope I'll have a great experience on this forum. Have a good day, guys.
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hiya Smalls and welcome to SF!

    I am sorry to hear that you are depressed. From what you've said you are being abused? Who by? You need to tell somebody about the abuse because it cannot be allowed to continue especially as it is affecting your mental well being. Do you have a teacher or trusted adult you can talk to?
  3. Smalls

    Smalls New Member

    Hey, Butterfly. Thanks for the welcome :)

    I have actually talked to a few teachers in the past, but they didn't do much to help except maybe glance over it and never spoke to me on a personal note ever again. The counselors are also only here for college prep and not much else. I hope I might find an adult whom I can talk to about it more, but I don't think it'll happen anytime soon.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What about your doctor hun talk to him or her legally they should report abuse or talk to someone a police officer even they will step in and get who ever it is abusing you to stop it
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear that you are in a crisis at the moment. Please do NOT self-harm as it does not help. The best solution is an elastic band which saved me from self-harming. The sting helps and reminds me not to do it. You can call helplines to talk to someone. Trophy teenagers should be ignored. You do NOT have to fit the image just to fit and please do not let it get you down. Remember such teenagers carry a so called facade to keep with in the in crowd and keeps them high in popularity stakes. Remember they be popular but you do not know what they are feeling on the inside.

    You are young and need to focus on your studies, yes it's hard to ignore the bullies but do not let them get to you. You took a lot of courage to post there. It might be worth speaking to parents indirectly and ask them how they dealt with these type of teenagers.

    Remember you will have deal with these facade teenagers whilst you complete your studies. I would focus on something that gives you a positive outlook on life. You need to keep posting here as you are not alone and we will try to support.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 28, 2014
  6. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Hello Ivy, welcome to the forum. You really need to tell somebody about you being abused if you haven't already. I hope you find this forum helpful :hug:
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