Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Nalthe, Mar 27, 2016.

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  1. Nalthe

    Nalthe New Member

    Hey. I'm Nalthe, an editor and... human, I think. Honestly, I'd rather say that I am nothing.
    My life was quick. 21 years passed like in 1 hour of sleeping. I don't even remember it. Just few stuff from last 2-3 years. I was always a sad and terrified child. I was avoiding people and whole world, closing myself in Internet. When I was 13, my mum took my to psychologist, but I just... run. I was totally scared of woman that wanted to talk to me. My mum stopped than and... well, I was alone. When I was 17, I tried to kill myself. Long story...
    After 18 birthday I went to psychiatrist on my own and started taking antidepressants. It was better, especially I met someone... For the first time in my life I could say that I was close to a human. Well, time passed and we broke up. I know it can sound stupid and childlish, but... I just lost everything. He was my last reason to be here. I don't know why I am writing it here. Maybe I just have noone to talk to. Or maybe I want to arrange everything in my head. It was always easier by writing.
    Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forum. You're not stupid or childish and don't worry your English is perfect. I am sorry for all you have been through, just know you have joined a great support forum here and we will help you as much as possible. Are you still seeing the psychiatrist, still on anti depressants? I feel for you and hope you feel better too soon. ((hugs))
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just wanted to say hi, and welcome. I'm glad you joined, I hope you find help and support here.
  4. Nalthe

    Nalthe New Member

    Thanks for kind words. Yes, I'm still taking medicine and visiting psychiatrist. It's better with them narrowly.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Great. What medications are you on, do you feel any of them are working? If not it's best to tell the psych you do not feel they are working. I know you say it's better with them but trying a range of medicines could help more in the long run too. My personal best was mirtazapine (known as the sedating anti depressant) it got me out of that depressed state that I never want to see again. How is your relationship with the psychiatrist?
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, and welcome to SF!

    Petal has come with some very good advice here. I really think you should tell your psychiatrist how you are feeling and what can be done to help you. You deserve to let yourself be helped!

    Be kind to yourself hun!
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You are important and never forget that. Yes, life is sad but with time it will get better. Please keep seeing the professional and taking the anti-depressants.
  8. Nalthe

    Nalthe New Member

    I've been taking about 5 different antidepressants ._. Now I'm on the venlafaxine, it is the only one that is working on me. I tried higher dose (of course it was under control of my doc), but I had terrible headaches. My psychiatrists is encouraging me to therapy, but... To be honest - I've been to 4 psychologists and... well, it's my kind of trauma. I just don't feel strong enough to talk again to strange person about everything my problems again. It always turns to "oh my poor child, you should try improving your relations with family", even if I'm saying 1000 times that I'm not interested in my family and there are more important things for me. Maybe I just met such people, but it's really hard for me to go to someone I don't know and talk with him, and talk with him about my private things... I'm repeating myself ._.

    And about my relationship with psychiatrist... Well, I had great doctor, but I had to move to the other town, quite far (well, I threw studying - then I found that psychiatrist, she really helped me a lot and instisted me to try again - but I decided to study somewhere else because of other domain of my studies). I was looking here for new psychiatrist, met someone... well, really bad - it was just because I used all of my medecine. And about a month ago I finally found great woman who - I think - will be able to help me. But you know, here, where I live, you meet with you psychiatrist about once for 1-2 months. You can also call him if you need quick help, but still... I just don't have money for more meetings.

    Hey, guys, I've got one little question... Do you believe that it is possible to totally escape from depression? For the rest of your life.
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