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Hey

#1
Hey.
I homestly don’t know how much longer I will be able to continue like this.
I haven’t had anything particularly bad happen to me, I am in an incredibly fortunate position environment wise. But I always just feel bad.
Its like a quagmire that I have to step in all the time. I never feel genuine happiness. It’s all just mediocre at best. I am getting help but it’s taking so long. I feel like shit. Everything I do feels like shit. And when it isn’t shit it’s just empty. I find continuing to be harder and harder. I don’t know whats wrong with me
 

Walker

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#2
Hi Cosm
It sounds like you've got some grade A depression there. How long have you been feeling this way?
 
#3
Hi Cosm
It sounds like you've got some grade A depression there. How long have you been feeling this way?
Jeez, at least a couple years. It has its ups and downs but i can’t honestly say I remember the last time I felt genuine happiness. The closest I ever get is by doing short term reward stuff like eating or watching comedy
 

Walker

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#4
Yeah I understand that (short reward) Does anyone know you've been feeling this way? Friends? Parents? Teacher? Someone
 

JDot

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#5
Hey @Cosm It sounds like you're really hurting. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you. And we're glad to have you here.
 
#6
Hey.
I homestly don’t know how much longer I will be able to continue like this.
I haven’t had anything particularly bad happen to me, I am in an incredibly fortunate position environment wise. But I always just feel bad.
Its like a quagmire that I have to step in all the time. I never feel genuine happiness. It’s all just mediocre at best. I am getting help but it’s taking so long. I feel like shit. Everything I do feels like shit. And when it isn’t shit it’s just empty. I find continuing to be harder and harder. I don’t know whats wrong with me
I know what you mean. I have a good environment but i always feel down. What i do is try to cherish the good times. You can say whatever you need to on here.
 
#7
Yeah I understand that (short reward) Does anyone know you've been feeling this way? Friends? Parents? Teacher? Someone
Yeah. Fortunately Im not strong enough to hold this all to myself. But I just sometimes (like when I wrote the original post) feel extremely depressed. I never really feel happy but I have periods where I feel like i never could be happy. I’m afraid that im going to have something like that one day <mod edit - "and do something impulsive to kill myself">
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Champagne

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#9
Hi @Cosm

A warm welcome to the SF community *hug

I am sorry you are struggling so much but with some positivity and planning things can get better. A small way to start would be to find things you really enjoy and do them whether its travelling, making new friends, finding new things to do local to you, volunteering for a cause you really think is great or having fun binges but of course a lot of those are temporary fixes, you need to see your doctor and see if you can get therapy - now that would make a huge difference.

SF will be here for you every step of the way :)
 

Walker

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#10
I'm glad you have some people to talk with about this. Are you good with your parents? Would they be willing to get you some help talking with someone face to face professionally? No one wants you to hurt yourself. Being 16 is just a stupid time anyway you know? Add in some impulsiveness and hormones and toss over a break up and who knows what will happen. It's just a really crap time.
 

Walker

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#11
By the way, there's something really great about your avatar. Not even sure why but I love it.
 
#12
Hi. Welcome to the forums @Cosm. A lot of what you have written is relatable to me, and I know how much it sucks.

As previously stated, it might be worth visiting a doctor or therapist about the way you've been feeling, if you haven't already - it seems like you have a lot of symptoms of depression.

I also agree with @Walker - I like your profile picture. It's like a married apple couple lol.

Stay safe. I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *hug10.
 
#14
Yeah maybe that's it. Or a parent / child apples. It's cute though.
Somehow I bet the OP didn't think about those apples as much as we are haha
This is a response to all your previous comments.
Hi. I’m really glad to see such a seemingly genuine community. You all seem like very nice people. I am visiting a therapist, but it isn’t a quick fix, it is taking a lot of time. She said I might have autism, which would make some sense. I’m having an evaluation for that and some other things in October. She hasn’t actually mentioned depression though, which I find a little strange, but maybe she’s seeing something that I’m not. I actually do have some thought in my profile picture. The apples are from an apple tree that my grandparents own. They’re both green (a sour and less sweet colour), and one is unusually formed and has a brown mark but they seem to be happy anyways.
 

Walker

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#15
The apples *do* look happy.
I'm glad you're getting some therapy. Autism spectrum disorders are being diagnosed often these days. I guess you just wait that out and see what they say yeah? I do think you sound depressed. I hope hanging around here makes you feel a little better.
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#17
Hey.
I homestly don’t know how much longer I will be able to continue like this.
I haven’t had anything particularly bad happen to me, I am in an incredibly fortunate position environment wise. But I always just feel bad.
Its like a quagmire that I have to step in all the time. I never feel genuine happiness. It’s all just mediocre at best. I am getting help but it’s taking so long. I feel like shit. Everything I do feels like shit. And when it isn’t shit it’s just empty. I find continuing to be harder and harder. I don’t know whats wrong with me
hmm i know the feeling of the latter half only advice i can give is don't be in one place too long
 

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