First off I'm glad that a forum like this exists, and I hope that whatever I get out of this online community will help me turn the corner with my life. A little background info about myself. My name is John, I'm 22 years old, and I'm a student at MSU right now. I'm hoping to join the Marine Corps after I graduate which is probably the main reason why I'm here. I've battled with depression and isolation from my peers all my life, and right now I'm desparately trying level out the psychological ups and downs that have plagued me throughout my lifetime. There are times where I'm very motivated to take on the challenges of the world. Whenever I've been in this mindset, I've been able to make tremendous personal improvement. Unfortunately I take life's setbacks too personally, and I quickly slide back into a deep depression and I isolate myself too the point of near suicide. I've contemplated suicide for much of my life, but the permanency of death frightens me, so I've never followed through on my plans. Anytime I come to the brink of death, I become scared and I find reasons to keep on fighting through my grief. I become motivated to take on life's challenges once again. It's such an exhausting, counterproductive cycle that has taken control of me, and has made making friends very difficult for me. My past frequently weighs heavy on my mind, and it's tremendously difficult for me let go of all the personal setbacks I've been through during my lifetime. I'm a slave to my emotions. I really wish that I could just bury the miserable, accustom to defeat individual that I've been throughout my lifetime, and start anew as the capable, confident man that I can be. I'm still holding out hope that I can become this individual before I start a career in the Marines. Even though I do battle through a lot of personal turmoil, I'm willing to offer any advice to those that seek it. Even though I struggle to apply them most of the time, I have been able to developed many effective coping techniques throughout my lifetime to help me objectively sort out my feelings. Hopefully I can get things turned around.